Sheldon: One ring to rule them all.
Rajesh: One ring to find them.
Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.
Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.
Rajesh: Holy crap are we nerdy!

Sheldon: So, just to clarify, when you say three, do we stand up or do we pee?

Leonard: What was that?
Penny: Sheldon tried to steal the ring so I punched him.
Leonard: That's my girl!

Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?

Penny: That is so sad.
Sheldon: No, what's sad is that you don't know Adam West is TV's Batman.

Leonard: *Doing Mr. T impression while holding a action figure of Spock with Mr. T's head* I pity the fool who's illogical!

Howard: So Sheldon, how's it feel to be beaten up by a girl?
Sheldon: It's not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.

Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?
Sheldon: Well, it's very simple. In our ragtag of scientists with nothing to lose, I'm the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one, and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails, and that leaves you, by default, as the muscle.
Leonard: One more floor, and I'd be the pulled muscle.

Howard: I'll bet your Meemaw didn't just have sex to have your mother, I bet she had sex because she liked it.
Sheldon: Stop it!
Raj: Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.
Sheldon: I said stop it!
Howard: We're getting to him.

Penny: I need to go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.

Sheldon: Oh, here's a fun fact. Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce, typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean, and grape.

Howard: Oh, my God. An Alf doll. When I was 11 my mother got me one to help me sleep after my dad left. I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac, and Alf was going to bring him back to me. But he never did. Where's my daddy, puppet? Where is he?

Sheldon: Give us the precious!

Sheldon: I would advise the three of you that resistance is futile. I have endless patience. I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold with Hewlett-Packard customer service just to complain about their customer service.