Howard: I'll bet your Meemaw didn't just have sex to have your mother, I bet she had sex because she liked it.
Sheldon: Stop it!
Raj: Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.
Sheldon: I said stop it!
Howard: We're getting to him.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Sheldon: One ring to rule them all.
Rajesh: One ring to find them.
Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.
Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.
Rajesh: Holy crap are we nerdy!

Leonard: What was that?
Penny: Sheldon tried to steal the ring so I punched him.
Leonard: That's my girl!

Sheldon: So, just to clarify, when you say three, do we stand up or do we pee?