Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard?
Leonard: What, Sheldon!? What, Sheldon!? What, Sheldon!?
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here.
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?

Sheldon: I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
Penny: I could think about you.
Sheldon: Whatever works.

Sheldon: Well, this is very pleasant.
Leonard: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
Sheldon: And you said there would never be enough pasta for the three of us.

Sheldon: Of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny: Well, what about me?
Sheldon: The statement stands for itself.

Raj: Ooo.
Penny: What's the matter, Lassie? Did Timmy fall down the well?

Sheldon: This is banana bread.
Penny: This is a door knob.

Sheldon: If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win!

Sheldon: What's your favorite fruit?
Stephanie: Strawberries.
Sheldon: Mmm, technically not a fruit, but all right.

Leonard: I'm bleeding!
Sheldon: Like a gladiator.

Sheldon: I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
Stephanie: What? What happened?
Sheldon: Radiation burns. A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner?
Sheldon: No, I didn't try, I succeeded.

Howard: Don't spritz him with that body spray from the commercials where the women undress when they smell it? That doesn't work at all. No matter how much you put on.

Sheldon: I'd like to have a talk about relationships.
Raj: You were supposed to have the talk with him.

Leonard: You hacked my Facebook account?
Sheldon: Oh, it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything, Kal-El.

Penny: I'll tell you what happened. (sigh) We were young. We were very much in love, but we could only communicate through a time-travelling mailbox at my lake house.
Sheldon: It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, but now you mock me with it?

Sheldon: So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Great. New topic. Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
Penny: What?
Sheldon: I've been doing some research online, and apparently female primates, you know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you, they find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female. Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. Which brings me back to my question, where are you in (Penny slams door). Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.