Wyatt Quotes

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: I want grandkids before I die and I want 'em to grow up in a house without wheels.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Susan: Penny, I don't know what I was worried about. Your friends are just lovely.
Penny: Oh, thanks, Mom.
Susan: Although that Sheldon is a bit peculiar.
Penny: Is he? I never noticed.
Wyatt: He reminds me of that turkey we had who drowned looking up at the rain.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Randall: You know, It's hard to believe I've never met Leonard.
Wyatt: Well, he probably buys his illegal drugs from a local vendor.
Susan: Not funny, Wyatt.
Penny: I thought it was really funny.
Wyatt: Thanks.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Wyatt: Welcome to the family, Leonard. Don't lend your new brother-in-law money.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: I thought we were past the days when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes. Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri? And the pee stick in your bathroom is to check for diabetes?

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: Please, please, please don't give up on her.
Leonard: What?
Wyatt: I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, the white rappers and all those sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Susan: All right, that's enough jail talk.
Randall: Penny knows where I was; she sent me cigarettes.
Susan: You sent your brother cigarettes?
Wyatt: He was cooking and selling crystal meth, Susan. I think we can let the cigarettes slide.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Leonard: Thanks for the steak, Wyatt.
Wyatt: My pleasure. Its nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Pennys that knows how to use a napkin.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: Let me tell you about this one genius she was going out with. This, this fella Donnie.
Penny: Oh, will you please let it go?
Wyatt: Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste into bio-fuel and selling it to the government.
Leonard: A lot of people are doing that.
Penny: Oh, see?
Wyatt: Yeah, but all Donnie did was mix pig poop with a little water and pump it into his mom's Camry.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: And Donnie was a rocket scientist compared to that boy who wanted to get beer pong into the Olympics. What was his name, sweetheart?
Penny: Curtis, and I'm pretty sure he was joking.
Wyatt: I don't know. That petition looked real to me.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: Now I'm going to do something here to help you along.
Leonard: Excuse me?
Wyatt: Just don't panic. (yelling) Now, get your sorry, lying ass out of my face and make sure I never see it again!
Leonard: Oh, the reverse psychology thing. I see. That's very clever.
Wyatt: Don't yap. Just get out.
Leonard: I'll friend you on Facebook!

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Susan: Why would you do that?
Penny: What?
Susan: The world doesn't need to know our problems.
Penny: Well, Mom, I'm sorry, but-
Wyatt: Hey, look, they got Walgreens here, too.
Susan: You really think it's helpful to change the subject, Wyatt?
Wyatt: Just trying to make this a happy trip, dear.
Susan: Well, quit it!

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Wyatt: Leonard, you want to come in for a nightcap?
Penny: Oh, gee, dad, he'd love to, but Leonard has to work in the morning.
Leonard: Maybe I could go in a little late.
Penny: No, no, no, you can't. Your career is far too important.
Wyatt: Behind every great man is a nagging woman who won't let him have any fun, am I right, Leonard?
Leonard: Don't I know it.

Quote from the episode The Bachelor Party Corrosion

Wyatt: I've been sitting on a little news myself.
Penny: Well, what is it?
Wyatt: You know that rototiller I got for the tractor?
Penny: No.
Wyatt: Oh, you should see it. It is a beautiful piece of machinery. Anyway, uh, I backed over your pet pig with it.
Penny: Moondance?
Wyatt: Yeah, he's, uh, not dancing anymore.
Penny: You killed my pig?
Wyatt: I did not kill him. The vet took care of that.
Penny: When?
Wyatt: Oh, ten, twelve months ago.
Penny: You didn't tell me for a year?
Wyatt: Well, apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? Love ya, slugger. Gotta go.

Showing quotes 1 to 14 of 14Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes