Susan: Penny, I don't know what I was worried about. Your friends are just lovely.
Penny: Oh, thanks, Mom.
Susan: Although that Sheldon is a bit peculiar.
Penny: Is he? I never noticed.
Wyatt: He reminds me of that turkey we had who drowned looking up at the rain.

Wyatt: I want grandkids before I die and I want 'em to grow up in a house without wheels.

Wyatt: Please, please, please don't give up on her.
Leonard: What?
Wyatt: I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, the white rappers and all those sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats.

Susan: All right, that's enough jail talk.
Randall: Penny knows where I was; she sent me cigarettes.
Susan: You sent your brother cigarettes?
Wyatt: He was cooking and selling crystal meth, Susan. I think we can let the cigarettes slide.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Raj: Can we take a moment to discuss that I just lied to the government for you?
Howard: Yeah, I would not have done that for you.

Sheldon: Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.