Quotes from ‘The Russian Rocket Reaction’

The Russian Rocket Reaction

'The Russian Rocket Reaction' - Season 5, Episode 5

Sheldon is unhappy when Leonard wants to go to a party at Wil Wheaton's house. Meanwhile, Howard is offered an out-of-this-world opportunity.

Air Date: October 13, 2011.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Wait, what is going on?
Sheldon: In case you have forgotten, Schrodinger's cat is a thought experiment.
Penny: No, no, no, no, I didn't forget. Um, there's this cat in a box and until you open it, it's either dead or alive or both. Although, back in Nebraska, our cat got stuck in my brother's camp trunk, and we did not need to open it to know there was all kinds of dead cat in there.
Amy: Homespun stories, knowledge of physics and a bosom that defies it. You're the whole package, aren't you?

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz: Over my dead body my son goes into outer space.

Quote from Amy

Amy: It's not for us to judge. We're just here to provide comfort and support while you come to grips with what a despicable thing you've done.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Now Sheldon, I know you're a left handed monkey wrench but you seriously have a mortal enemy
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I have 61. Would you like to see the list?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This will just take a moment, it's on a five and a quarter inch floppy.
Amy: A floppy disk?
Sheldon: Well, I started the list when I was nine.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Sheldon: (To Brent Spiner) You are now my mortal enemy.
Wil Wheaton: Don't worry it doesn't take up too much of your time.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Going to Wheaton's party is not betraying you.
Sheldon: Oh, of course you would have to believe that. Evil always thinks it's doing right. Excuse me, Stormtrooper. These are the droids you're looking for.
Leonard: I'm going to a party. I'm not turning R2-D2 and C-3PO over to the empire!
Sheldon: Not yet.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz: Make up all you want. Your tuchus is not leaving this planet.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Until you either do not go or go to Wil Wheaton's party you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. I'm characterizing this phenomenon as Schrodinger's Friendship.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You just got off the list, would you like back on it?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: It's from Game of Thrones. What do you think?
Sheldon: I don't know. If we're going to start a fantasy sworld collection, and I've long thought we should, is this really the sword to start with?
Leonard: What did you have in mind?
Sheldon: Well, off the top of my head, I'd have to go with Excalibur. It gives you the right to rule England.
Leonard: It would be a replica of a movie prop.
Sheldon: Fair enough. It'd give you the right to rule a replica of England.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: See that? I just saved us forty bucks.
Sheldon: I've long said what you lack in academic knowledge, you make up for in street smarts.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Someone has to go up with the telescope as a payload specialist and guess who that someone is.
Sheldon: Mohammed Lee.
Howard: Who's Mohammed Lee?
Sheldon: Mohammed is the most common first name in the world. Lee, the most common surname. As I didn't know the answer, I thought it gave me the mathematical edge.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You're not only our first astronaut, you're also the first one of us to kick a girl out of bed. You're like a rockstar.
Howard: Little bit.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I had no choice. I had to tell his mother. He can't go to space. He's like a baby bird. Do you know he once got an asthma attack from reading an old library book?

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Oh, God, you're right. I took our love and threw it under his bus-sized mother.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Well, they don't have an Excalibur here, so what do you want to do?
Sheldon: Mm. Tough decision. There's no weaponry from Lord of the Rings, forged in a Chinese sweatshop?
Leonard: Just Bilbo Baggins' sword over there.
Sheldon: Two grown men with a hobbit's dagger; wouldn't we look silly?

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure.
Leonard: Yeah. It's okay, I guess.
Sheldon: Okay? It's magnificent.
Leonard: Buh-buh-buh-buh! What do you want for it?
Stuart: Oh, it's hard to put a price on something thats a copy of something that was on pay cable. But for my friends, let's say 250?
Leonard: Oh, that's pretty steep.
Stuart: Well, it's a limited edition. They only made 8,000 of these bad boys.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Only 8,000? We're wasting precious time. Buy it.
Leonard: Hang on. Can you do any better?
Stuart: Are you kidding? I'm already giving you the friends and family discount.
Sheldon: Oh, did you hear that? We're getting the friends and family discount. We are honored and we will take it.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Two hundred.
Stuart: Man, you're killing me!
Sheldon: Killing you? I can't breathe.
Stuart: Two ten, and I'm losing money.
Sheldon: Oh, now, we can't let him lose money, Leonard. I'm so sorry.

Quote from Stuart

Leonard: Two ten and you throw in the Iron Man helmet.
Stuart: Are you crazy? That helmet's signed by Robert Downey Jr.
Leonard: So?
Stuart: Okay, if you're going to question the importance of an actor's signature on a plastic helmet from a movie based on a comic book, then all of our lives have no meaning!

Quote from Stuart

Leonard: Okay, fine. Just the sword, two ten.
Stuart: Thank you. I can eat meat this week.

Quote from Leonard

Stuart: You want me to wrap it?
Leonard: No, it's okay. I'm gonna stab my friend in the chest.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hello, Wil Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. Nice sword.
Sheldon: It's part of my sword collection. Do you have a sword collection?
Wil Wheaton: No.
Sheldon: I'm not surprised.

Quote from Sheldon

Stuart: Here's the Batman 612 with the Jim Lee alternate cover that you wanted.
Wil Wheaton: Awesome. What do I owe you?
Stuart: Forty bucks.
Wil Wheaton: Good deal.
Sheldon: Sucker. Didn't even ask for the friends and family discount.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil: Hey, I'm having a party at my house on Friday, and I was hoping you would stop by.
Stuart: Will there be girls there?
Wil: Yeah, of course.
Stuart: 'cause there wasn't last time.
Wil: There will be girls.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I see what you're doing. You accept an invitation to a party at the home of my sworn enemy, he tells everyone we're going to be there, and when we don't show, he looks the fool. Fiendishly clever.
Leonard: I was actually thinking about going.
Sheldon: And then declaring the party a fiasco and storming out, leaving him humiliated in front of his guests. Love it.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Leonard: No, I was gonna grab Raj and Howard and have a good time.
Stuart: Oh, great, more guys. It's gonna be another Wil Wheaton sausage-fest.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Sheldon, can you grab me a water?
Sheldon: Possibly.
Leonard: Can you or can't you?
Sheldon: It's not that simple, Leonard.
Leonard: It never is, is it?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Got it. Can I have my water?
Sheldon: Of course. (Knocking Leonard's bottle of water away) Now get it yourself, you traitor.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I'd like to propose a toast. The dream to go up into space is one we all share, and Howard's making that a reality. We're all very proud of you.
Everybody: Cheers.
Sheldon: That was a lovely toast. Kudos.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Simultaneously, a festival of cloying clichs. You sicken me.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: You're really quiet. Is everything okay?
Bernadette: Fine. Just a little tired.
Howard: I hope not too tired, because I'm feeling particularly masculine right now. All systems go, if you catch my drift.
Bernadette: I always catch your drift.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: All right, well, something's obviously bugging you. What is it?
Bernadette: I just can't believe you signed up for the space program without even talking to me.
Howard: Oh, I get it. You're worried about me. That is so sweet. You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Just stop talking, Howard.

Quote from Howard

Howard: This isn't the reaction I expected when I told you I was gonna be an astronaut.
Bernadette: What did you think was going to happen?
Howard: Honestly? Sex.
Bernadette: Howard!

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: Do you realize what a big deal this is? What an honor it is to be chosen to go into space?
Bernadette: Yeah, I get it. I just wish you included me in the decision. We're supposed to be partners. We're supposed to be a team.
Howard: I'm sorry. You're right. Okay, let's try this again. Bernadette, an opportunity has come up that impacts both of us, and I'd like to discuss it.
Bernadette: Okay.
Howard: I've been offered a chance to go up to the International Space Station for three weeks. What are your thoughts on that?
Bernadette: Well, first of all, thank you for including me in the decision-making process.
Howard: Hey, we're a team. So, what do you think?
Bernadette: No.
Howard: No?
Bernadette: No.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Pretty cool about Howard, huh?
Sheldon: Dont talk to me as if nothing's happened between us. And yes, it sure is, buddy.
Leonard: For God's sake, will you stop with the Schrodinger stuff?
Sheldon: Would you prefer a simpler application of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, in which I could either know where you are or whether I like you, but not both?
Leonard: You never stop talking, do you?

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: How did Wil Wheaton get on the list?
Everybody: Oh!
Sheldon: As a child, I loved Wesley Crusher, Wil Wheaton's character on Star Trek. So, I drove for hours by bus to a Star Trek convention at which Wil Wheaton was scheduled to appear, so that I could get my Wesley Crusher action figure signed. But he never showed, because apparently, it was cooler for him to be the lower-left corner on Hollywood Squares.
Oh, damn! The floppy failed. Well, whoever was in charge of quality control at the Verbatim Corporation in 1989, congratulations, you just made the list.

Quote from Howard

Raj: So, what's gonna happen next? Are you and Bernadette going to break up?
Howard: I don't know. If we're going to get back together, she's going to have to apologize and accept that I'm a grown man who can make his own decisions.
Raj: Then she's going to have to convince your mother to let you go into space.
Howard: Obviously.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Well, that, that's good. I'm glad you came to that. But before you do, let me just ask you a big picture question.
Bernadette: What?
Penny: Are you a hundred percent positive you love and want to marry Howard Wolowitz?
Bernadette: I do, with all my heart.
Penny: Got it. Just had to check.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: All right, Sheldon, we're going to Wil's. This is your last chance.
Sheldon: No, Leonard, this is your last chance. One day, a historian is going to come to you and say, is it true you were friends with Dr. Sheldon Cooper? And you're going to have to choke back a hot sob of regret and humiliation as you mumble, I was, but I chose to go to a party thrown by the one kid from Stand By Me that no one remembers.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, good. You picked me, you picked me.
Leonard: No, I just got a text from Stuart. Brent Spiner is at the party.
Sheldon: Brent Spiner?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: I don't care.
Leonard: Really? Brent Spiner, Mr. Data himself. You love him.
Sheldon: I did, but I think I've kind of outgrown Star Trek. You know, stock characters, ludicrous plots, beam me up. What a load of hooey.
Leonard: I'm going. Live long and prosper, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, even that. You look like a dork.

Quote from Howard

Howard: If you're gonna love me, you're gonna have to love the whole package, the tenderhearted poet and the crazy daredevil.
Bernadette: I know.
Howard: Well, don't say it if you're not gonna mean it, 'cause I'm not just gonna stop with the space station. Yeah, I want to go to the Moon, I want to go to Mars. I want to take a one-man sub to the lowest depths of the ocean.
Bernadette: Really? You got seasick on Pirates of the Caribbean.
Howard: Well, those big kids were rocking it.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I just did what I did because I love you so much, and the thought of losing you is more than I can handle.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: You're my soul mate. This is where you kiss me.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: What are you doing here?
Sheldon: Fighting for our friendship. As peculiar and annoying as you can be, you're still my little buddy. I'm not going to let that end here tonight. Now put down that drink, let's meet Brent Spiner and go home.

Quote from Sheldon

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon, I'm so glad you made it. I found something I think you might like.
Sheldon: What I'd like is for him to have a more depressing home. This is quite lovely.

Quote from Sheldon

Wil Wheaton: This is for you.
Sheldon: An original mint-in-package Wesley Crusher action figure.
Wil Wheaton: I remembered your story about the time you went to a convention when you were a kid to get one signed, and I didn't show up.
Wil Wheaton: Look at what I wrote.
Sheldon: To Sheldon, sorry this took so long. Your friend, Wil Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: It's my last one. I want you to have it.
Sheldon: Look, everyone. Wil Wheaton is my friend!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Can we get autographed dolls?
Brent Spiner: Sure. Twenty bucks.
Leonard: Ten.
Brent Spiner: Eighteen.
Leonard: Twelve.
Brent Spiner: Sixteen.
Leonard: Two for thirty. And you come to my birthday party.
Brent Spiner: Done.

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