Leonard: See that? I just saved us forty bucks.
Sheldon: I've long said what you lack in academic knowledge, you make up for in street smarts.

Howard: Someone has to go up with the telescope as a payload specialist and guess who that someone is.
Sheldon: Mohammed Lee.
Howard: Who's Mohammed Lee?
Sheldon: Mohammed is the most common first name in the world. Lee, the most common surname. As I didn't know the answer, I thought it gave me the mathematical edge.

Stuart: Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure.
Leonard: Yeah. It's okay, I guess.
Sheldon: Okay? It's magnificent.
Leonard: Buh-buh-buh-buh! What do you want for it?
Stuart: Oh, it's hard to put a price on something thats a copy of something that was on pay cable. But for my friends, let's say 250?
Leonard: Oh, that's pretty steep.
Stuart: Well, it's a limited edition. They only made 8,000 of these bad boys.

Leonard: No, I was gonna grab Raj and Howard and have a good time.
Stuart: Oh, great, more guys. It's gonna be another Wil Wheaton sausage-fest.

Leonard: It's from Game of Thrones. What do you think?
Sheldon: I don't know. If we're going to start a fantasy sworld collection, and I've long thought we should, is this really the sword to start with?
Leonard: What did you have in mind?
Sheldon: Well, off the top of my head, I'd have to go with Excalibur. It gives you the right to rule England.
Leonard: It would be a replica of a movie prop.
Sheldon: Fair enough. It'd give you the right to rule a replica of England.

Raj: You're not only our first astronaut, you're also the first one of us to kick a girl out of bed. You're like a rockstar.
Howard: Little bit.

Bernadette: I had no choice. I had to tell his mother. He can't go to space. He's like a baby bird. Do you know he once got an asthma attack from reading an old library book?

Bernadette: Oh, God, you're right. I took our love and threw it under his bus-sized mother.

Leonard: Well, they don't have an Excalibur here, so what do you want to do?
Sheldon: Mm. Tough decision. There's no weaponry from Lord of the Rings, forged in a Chinese sweatshop?
Leonard: Just Bilbo Baggins' sword over there.
Sheldon: Two grown men with a hobbit's dagger; wouldn't we look silly?

Sheldon: Only 8,000? We're wasting precious time. Buy it.
Leonard: Hang on. Can you do any better?
Stuart: Are you kidding? I'm already giving you the friends and family discount.
Sheldon: Oh, did you hear that? We're getting the friends and family discount. We are honored and we will take it.

Leonard: Two hundred.
Stuart: Man, you're killing me!
Sheldon: Killing you? I can't breathe.
Stuart: Two ten, and I'm losing money.
Sheldon: Oh, now, we can't let him lose money, Leonard. I'm so sorry.

Leonard: Okay, fine. Just the sword, two ten.
Stuart: Thank you. I can eat meat this week.

Stuart: You want me to wrap it?
Leonard: No, it's okay. I'm gonna stab my friend in the chest.

Sheldon: Hello, Wil Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. Nice sword.
Sheldon: It's part of my sword collection. Do you have a sword collection?
Wil Wheaton: No.
Sheldon: I'm not surprised.

Stuart: Here's the Batman 612 with the Jim Lee alternate cover that you wanted.
Wil Wheaton: Awesome. What do I owe you?
Stuart: Forty bucks.
Wil Wheaton: Good deal.
Sheldon: Sucker. Didn't even ask for the friends and family discount.