Stuart: Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure.
Leonard: Yeah. It's okay, I guess.
Sheldon: Okay? It's magnificent.
Leonard: Buh-buh-buh-buh! What do you want for it?
Stuart: Oh, it's hard to put a price on something thats a copy of something that was on pay cable. But for my friends, let's say 250?
Leonard: Oh, that's pretty steep.
Stuart: Well, it's a limited edition. They only made 8,000 of these bad boys.

Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

Howard: Hang on, I know a place where you could you stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you: it will involve humiliation, degradation and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?

Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.

Penny: Wait, what is going on?
Sheldon: In case you have forgotten, Schrodinger's cat is a thought experiment.
Penny: No, no, no, no, I didn't forget. Um, there's this cat in a box and until you open it, it's either dead or alive or both. Although, back in Nebraska, our cat got stuck in my brother's camp trunk, and we did not need to open it to know there was all kinds of dead cat in there.
Amy: Homespun stories, knowledge of physics and a bosom that defies it. You're the whole package, aren't you?

Amy: It's not for us to judge. We're just here to provide comfort and support while you come to grips with what a despicable thing you've done.

Amy: Now Sheldon, I know you're a left handed monkey wrench but you seriously have a mortal enemy
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I have 61. Would you like to see the list?