Sheldon: I'm looking over my text correspondence with Beverly and I don't see anything that would have given her offense. Nothing's ambiguous, I spell everything out. Including "laugh out loud" and "what's the fracas?"

Amy: Are you really not gonna pick up your mother?
Leonard: No. It's fine, she likes to take a cab or a shuttle. That way she can meet people.
Amy: Well, that's kind of nice.
Leonard: Yeah, she always says that a stranger is just a person whose emotional weak point you haven't found yet.
Sheldon: Your mom is the best.

Leonard: How was your flight?
Beverly Hofstadter: There were some parents with a baby. A lot of crying.
Leonard: Well, babies do that.
Beverly Hofstadter: No, it was the parents. It seems they couldn't handle some constructive criticism.

Bernadette: When does Anu come back from London?
Raj: Next week. But it's been good, you know? Really given me a chance to focus on myself.
Howard: How's that going?
Raj: I didn't like what I saw, got in my car, drove over here.

Howard: It just feels like Denise is basically living with us. You know, maybe you can spend half the time at her place.
Stuart: Hey, when I moved in, you and Bernadette said it was okay if I brought girls over.
Howard: [laughs] Oh. We were making fun of you.

Sheldon: Ah, Beverly, there you are.
Beverly Hofstadter: Sheldon, how nice to see you. Leonard was just showing me his new lab.
Sheldon: Oh, yes, experimental physics, the carpentry of the science world.

Raj: Well, we got into this because we both wanted to get married, and honestly, we've been dragging our feet, and I think this is the push that we need.
Bernadette: Wait, so you're gonna ask her to marry you?
Raj: Why not? We like each other, plus, we both want to start a family. Hey, I can work from anywhere, I'm an astronomer. They have stars in London, and I'm not just talking about Dame Judi Dench.
Howard: No one thought you were.
Bernadette: I thought he was.

Sheldon: What? No knock? What's the fracas?

Beverly Hofstadter: Have you calmed down?
Leonard: No, I'm not calm. You really hurt me.
Beverly Hofstadter: That wasn't my intention.
Leonard: It doesn't matter what you intended. What matters is the way you made me feel. Actually, the way y-you've always made me feel.
Beverly Hofstadter: I see, so you're here to tell me all the ways that I failed you as a mother.
Leonard: Yeah. And get comfortable, 'cause i-it's a long list. [exhales]
Beverly Hofstadter: Is it happening soon?
Leonard: You know what? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter, you're never gonna change. If I want you to accept me for me, then I guess I'm gonna have to accept you for you. So I forgive you.
Beverly Hofstadter: I didn't ask you to forgive me.
Leonard: Too bad. I forgive you anyway. And I forgive myself for taking so long to do it. Oh, my God, that feels so good.
Beverly Hofstadter: I must admit, it it does feel good.
Leonard: What does?
Beverly Hofstadter: You forgiving me. It means a lot. Thank you.

Howard: Raj! Stop! [panting]
Raj: What? What are you doing here?
Howard: Look if you're getting on that plane because you love Anu and you can't stand the thought of spending another day without her then go. If not then stay here with the people who love you.
Raj: But what if this is my last chance at marriage and family?
Howard: I promise you it's not. Believe me, somewhere out there is a woman who loves cooking shows and sweater vests and all the other dumb things you love.
Raj: You really think so?
Howard: Yes. And I don't think she's waiting for you in England. When you propose to someone in Notting Hill it should be to someone who knows what that movie is.
Raj: Are you saying you're just a boy standing in front of another boy saying you don't want him to leave?
Howard: Sure.

Sheldon: Leonard, when are you leaving to pick your mother up from the airport?
Leonard: Uh, well, let's see, her plane gets in at 3:00, figure half hour to get her luggage, so never.

Penny: Never? Isn't that usually when you go to the gym?

Leonard: Hey, on a completely unrelated note, um, you know, if you'd rather stay at a hotel, we wouldn't be offended.
Beverly Hofstadter: Actually, I've been looking forward to staying with you.
Leonard: Really? It's just, normally, you stay at a hotel.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like me to stay at a hotel?
Leonard: No, no, no. I invited you to stay with us.
Beverly Hofstadter: And I accepted, so everyone is happy.
Leonard: Yep. I'm happy, you're happy everyone's happy.

Raj: How come we never eat in the dining room?
Bernadette: Oh, that's for company.
Raj: What am I?
Howard: Apparently, a guy who wants to have his feelings hurt.

Beverly Hofstadter: Really? A photon entanglement team.
Leonard: Yeah, I'm actually the colead.
Penny: Yeah, if you like photons and how they get entangled, he's your co-guy.