Quotes from ‘The Parking Spot Escalation’ Page 1 of 2
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The Parking Spot Escalation When Howard buys a new car, the university gives him Sheldon's parking spot, sparking outrage from Sheldon. An escalating war between Howard and Sheldon affects the whole gang. |
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Quote from Sheldon
Howard: Are you listening to yourself?
Sheldon: I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: You know what they say. Revenge is a dish best served nude.
Quote from Penny
Penny: You know, I remember my first bikini wax. My sister did it with duct tape and melted Crayolas. To this day, I can't look at a box of crayons without crossing my legs.
Quote from Sheldon
Howard: Sheldon, some day, if you get a car, I'm sure they'll give you another parking space.
Sheldon: I don't want another parking space. I want my parking space. It's perfect. It's a corner spot, cutting the risk of door-dings in half. It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance. The nearby tree provides shade on hot days and is also home to a delightful squirrel. Which is fortuitous because most squirrels are real jerks.
Quote from Sheldon
(Howard's car horn blares)
(Sheldon puts his headphones on)
Howard: Those aren't going to help you, Sheldon!
Sheldon: Oh yes, they are. I mean, what?
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Your threats are empty. Nothing can move me.
(Howard drives his car slowly towards Sheldon, pushing his chair forward)
Sheldon: That's it! I'm calling campus security! You prepare for the scolding of your life!
Quote from Penny
Bernadette: More coffee?
Penny: No, Leonard's taking me to a physics lecture, and coffee'll just keep me awake.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: The tow truck didn't scratch your car.
Amy: How do you know?
Bernadette: 'cause I did it!
Quote from Amy
Amy: Well, at least when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother. And yes, that is a cleverly veiled reference to Howard's lifelong obsession to crawl back into her spacious womb.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: That's my parking spot.
Raj: Why do you have a parking spot? You don't have a car. You don't even drive.
Leonard: Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.
Sheldon: Well, I'm not using my nipples either. Maybe they should reassign those.
Quote from Howard
Leonard: What are you doing?
Wolowitz: Well, he wasn't using it, and I needed some cool leather to wiggle my naked ass on.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?
Quote from Leonard
Howard: (Slams his car door) Will you please talk some sense into your lunatic roommate?
Leonard: You're both acting like lunatics!
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