Bernadette: How many times has he made fun of Howard for being an engineer? Going to MIT? His magic?
Amy: Sheldon doesn't make fun of his magic.
Bernadette: Well, he should. It's stupid.

Howard: (imitating Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent) Well, Gorblimey. You look like a thousand tuppence. Don't he, Mary Poppins?
Bert: Are you gonna talk like that all night?
Howard: Jiff willikers, I am.
Bernadette: Isn't he cute? He's gonna get a spoonful of sugar later.
Howard: And I'm gonna sweep Ms. Poppins' chimney.

Bernadette: What do you think you're doing?
Amy: I thought it was clear. I'm being unnecessarily hurtful but with a sweet voice.
Sheldon: And I don't understand what's going on because I went to MIT.

Penny: Well, people came, they ate, they vowed to never speak to each other again. I think it was a successful party.

Sheldon: I think Howard hurting my feelings has in some ways made me a better person.
Amy: Hmm. Look at you, improving on perfection. How so?
Sheldon: As you were eating that Danish, I wanted to point out that the Danish isn't Danish at all. It was imported by Austrian bakers during a labor dispute in the 1800s. But I chose not to, because I didn't want to be the kind of fella who foists unwanted facts about European pastries on the unwilling.
Amy: Huh. That's actually interesting.
Sheldon: Sorry. Now you'll never know.

Sheldon: I don't understand. If it's unreasonable, why should we do it?
Howard: Okay, how about this? You know in Star Wars when R2 and Chewbacca were playing holochess?
Amy: Really? Star Wars?
Sheldon: Amy, let the man speak.

Sheldon: Hello, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Wait, did you just walk into my house?
Sheldon: No, Howard let me in.
Bernadette: Where is he?
Sheldon: Oh, he got in his car and drove away.

Sheldon: Well, people used to call me egghead 'cause there were eggs on my head. 'Cause they threw them at me.

Bernadette: One time my brothers made me breathe helium. I tried to call for help, but the only one who could hear me was the dog.
Sheldon: That's also terrible. My goodness, you had to live in a house with a dog.

Raj: Sheldon, you sure you're ready for this? This movie's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Please. I'm an adult. I think I can handle it.
Leonard: That's what you said about the butterfly pavilion at the zoo.
Sheldon: That was my fault. After I pet that goat, I felt like a gladiator.

Penny: Bernadette, why don't we get to dress up at work?
Bernadette: We used to, but a couple guys in the infectious disease lab went as zombies and it triggered a quarantine. The CDC was so mad.

Leonard: Hey, if you really want to dress up, we could throw a party.
Penny: Oh, that would be fun. You know, I used to throw Halloween parties all the time when I moved into the building.
Leonard: All the time? I only remember being invited to one.
Penny: Please don't make this awkward for me.

Amy: What are you going as?
Howard: I don't want to ruin the surprise. You'll see it at work. Just a warning: it's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Is it a bird?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Is it a dog?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Oh, I think I'll be fine, then.

Leonard: Are you gonna dress in drag in front of your fiancee?
Raj: Yeah. We have no secrets from each other. Well, except for the fact that I crocheted this myself.

Leonard: Sheldon, he's being you. He's dressed as you for Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. So you're not laughing at him. You're laughing at me.
Raj: We're not laughing at you. We're laughing with you.
Sheldon: But I'm not laughing.
Raj: Then the first one.