Raj: I know, I am resplendent like the noonday sun, am I not?

Sheldon: Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly, it would be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.

Raj: God bless that boy, I don't know what I'd do without him.
Leonard: You just got him this afternoon.
Raj: Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me.
Leonard: A lackey?
Raj: Oh, I'm sorry, is that politically incorrect? In India we just call them untouchables.

Howard: Hey, good news, you don't have to sulk about Penny any more. Look, there are hundreds of Croatian women just waiting for you to contact them.
Leonard: Anythingforagreencard.com?
Howard: I'll lend you my user name, it's wealthybigpenis.
Leonard: You're joking.
Howard: Well, you gotta make it easy for them. They're just learning English.

Sheldon: I wanted a griffin.
Leonard: A griffin.
Sheldon: Yes, half eagle, half lion.
Leonard: And mythological.
Sheldon: Irrelevant. See, I was studying recombinant DNA technology and I was confident I could create one. But my parents were unwilling to secure the necessary eagle eggs and lion semen. Course my sister got swimming lessons when she wanted them.

Sheldon: Excuse me. Thirty what, under thirty what, to watch what?
Raj: Thirty visionaries under thirty years of age to watch as they challenge the preconceptions of their field.
Sheldon: If I had a million guesses, I never would have gotten that.