Raj: What do you say, Howard?
Howard: I say Vegas baby!
Raj: What are you gonna tell your mother?
Howard: Sea World baby!

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.

Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?

Sheldon: There was a tall man from Cornwall
Whose length exceeded his bed.
"My body fits on it.
But barely upon it.
There's no room for my big Cornish head!"

Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.

Hooker: What's your name?
Raj: Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.
Hooker: Hello Rajesh Ram...Hello Rajesh.

Raj: It's too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She's exactly his type. A hooker.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon, are you coming?
Sheldon: I'd rather have a blowfly lay eggs and hatch larvae in my auditory canal.

Sheldon: We have a bowl. Our keys are in the bowl. You should get a bowl.
Penny: I just don't understand; how can beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper forget his keys in the first place?
Sheldon: I left them in the bowl.

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I do not resemble C-3PO. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it.

Penny: Mmm, what smells so good?
Sheldon: That is the intoxicating aroma of Kadhai Paneer. A perfect culinary representation of the freedom this evening holds. Not only is it Indian cuisine, which Koothrappali loathes, it contains a generous helping of peanuts, which would reduce Wolowitz to a wheezing 97-pound blister. And finally, its main ingredient is paneer, a farmer's cheese that would cause Leonard to render any room uninhabitable within minutes.

Raj: I'm telling you, Leonard, video slot machines, free drinks brought to us by a bosomy barmaid and all you can eat shrimp for $3.95. Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.

Sheldon: You know I'm in such a good mood I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming today.