Sheldon: When Albert Einstein came up with special relativity, he was working at the patent office.
Leonard: So you're going to work at the patent office?
Sheldon: Don't be absurd. That's in Washington. You know I could never live in a city whose streets are laid out in a wheel-and-spoke pattern.

Employment adviser: So, Mr. Cooper, you're looking for a job?
Sheldon: A menial job. Like yours.
Employment adviser: Why thank you for noticing. I'm Menial Employee of the Month.

Sheldon: I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable, and three answers came to mind. Toll both attendant, an Apple Store genius, and what Penny does. Now, since I don't like touching other people's coins, and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.

Leonard: Sheldon took our order.
Penny: Sheldon doesn't work here.
Leonard: Well, honey, not to complain, but we were starting to think you didn't either.

Penny: Toad of truth? Is that a physics thing?
Leonard: No, that's a crazy thing.