Raj: I've said this before and I'll say it again: Aquaman sucks!

Zack: Whoa, you dated Penny?
Leonard: She didn't tell you?
Zack: She told me she dated a guy named Leonard. Who would have thought it was you?
Leonard: Who else would it be?
Zack: I don't know. Somebody bigger and- Yeah, sure. Why not you?

Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

Sheldon: I'm not Sheldon. I'm the Flash. And now I'm going to the Grand Canyon to scream in frustration. *takes two quick steps* I'm back.

Zack: You're inferring I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's not correct. We implied you're stupid, you then inferred it.

Zack: Wow, this place is awesome. Where do they keep the Archies?
Sheldon: In the bedrooms of ten-year-old girls, where they belong.
Zack: Oh, no, you're thinking old-school Archie. It's much more sophisticated now. Like, there's two universes, and Archie's married to Betty in one and Veronica in the other. Midge is even breaking up with Moose.
Raj: No.
Zack: About time, right?
Stuart: Hey.
Zack: Hey.
Stuart: You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?
Leonard: Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack. He's a friend of ours. Zack, this is Stuart. He owns the store.
Zack: Wow, lucky you.
Stuart: Yeah, I work 70 hours a week and average a dollar sixty five an hour.
Zack: Sweet.
Stuart: Is that sarcasm?
Howard: Uh, no, it's an indictment of the American education system.
Raj: The Archies are over here.
Zack: Yippee.

Wolowitz: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously your super power is brainwashing.

Sheldon: (Knocking at Penny's door) Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny!
Penny: What the hell is wrong with you?
Sheldon: I'm the Flash, I just knocked 30 thousand times.

Sheldon: I understand why you're upset. You're afraid that costume makes you look fat.

Sheldon: Don't worry. Wonder Woman was an Amazon. And Amazons tend to be very beefy gals.

Koothrappali: Oh, great. No Superman, no Wonder Woman? All we've got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman, a near-sighted Green Lantern, and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.
Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Koothrappali: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Koothrappali: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, but in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?

Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig.
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Honey, there is no "I" in "Justice League."

Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Raj: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Raj: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

Sheldon: Good Lord how you frustrate me Leonard Hofstadter!

Howard: No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
Leonard: Okay, let me see if I understand this. You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?
Sheldon: Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.

Sheldon: Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.

Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.

Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: "Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud."
Raj: A Milk Dud?
Sheldon: Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
Leonard: I got a better idea. Were all responsible. I say we all go. Come on, who's with me? Free comic books to anyone who comes with me. I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
Raj: Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing yourself.

Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler doesn't believe in wearing costumes. She's not the free spirit I am.

Penny: Wait, why me? Why cant your girlfriend be Wonder Woman?
Howard: She and her lab team are under quarantine. Seems at the Christmas party they were doing Jell-O shots out of petri dishes that used to contain yellow fever.

Zack: You want to go with em?
Penny: No.
Zack: Okay, see you later.
Penny: Wait, w-w-wait-wait-wait, youre ditching me to go look at comic books?
Zack: Are you mad at me?
Penny: Im not happy.
Zack: Milk Dud?

Raj: Water Demon.
Howard: Ice Dragon.
Leonard: Lesser Warlord of Kaa.
Sheldon: Not so fast. Infinite Sheldon.
Leonard: Infinite Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.
Leonard: Do you understand why people dont want to play with you?
Sheldon: No, although its a question Ive been pondering since preschool.

Wolowitz: Okay, the good news is, we have a Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Oh.
Koothrappali: Yes.
Sheldon: What's the bad news?
Wolowitz: Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.
Zack: Aw, damn.

Zack: I don't get it.
Leonard: A dolphin might.

Stuart: So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?
Sheldon: Of course. We're coming as the Justice League of America.
Howard: Switching it up from last year when we came as the Justice League of America.
Sheldon: To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
Leonard: Hey, I got new boots this year. Guaranteed to add three inches.
Sheldon: That's sad. Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart: Than than Leonard in high-heeled boots? Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?
Sheldon: I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.
Leonard: Zack?
Howard: He is the only person we know with actual muscles.
Leonard: You can't replace me with Zack.
Sheldon: Why not? Penny did it.
Howard: Yeah, she seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?
Zack: Score. I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica, and a Jughead. All set for my weekend number twos.
Sheldon: Congratulations. Zack, how would you like to be Superman?
Zack: I don't know, sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Zack: (At Penny's door) Babe, open up.
Penny: I'm not talking to you.
Zack: Then who are you talking to? Babe?

Zack: Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. I forget the rest.
Penny: All right. Let's get this thing over with.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. But in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?
Howard: Relax. No one's going to be looking at her hair. Ow! I mean, ow.
Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig. Where is it, babe?
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Penny, there's no I in Justice League.
Howard: Well, actually.
Sheldon: Don't. He's making our case.
Zack: Okay, babe. You're kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.
Penny: Okay. You know what? I changed my mind. I'm not going.

Zack: Look up in the sky. Its a bird. Its a plane. I forget the rest.

Zack: I haven't been to a comic book store in literally a million years.
Sheldon: Literally? Literally a million years?

Howard: I'm Batman.
Sheldon: Oh, I hardly think so. The real caped crusader calls his crime-fighting cohorts when he's running late.
Howard: I had to walk. I couldn't get Raj on the back of my scooter.

Leonard: You think Penny's right? Were we bullying Zack?
Howard: No, I know bullying. He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.
Raj: And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.
Leonard: That happened to you?
Raj: First day of cricket camp. They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.