Howard: He's upset because he can't get anywhere with women.
Sheldon: Would it help if I gave him some pointers?
I'm just funnin' ya.

Howard: Raj is a proud, passionate man. If you go running out on him again, you're only gonna get like three of four more chances before you are history.

Leonard: So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study?
Amy: Sadly, I'm no longer associated wtih that project.
Leonard: Why? What happened.
Amy: Typical bureaucratic nonsense. You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, you can dissect their brains, but you throw their own faeces back at them and suddenly you're unprofessional.

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper presents Fun with Flags. My apologies that this episode is coming late. I did shoot one last week in honor of Black History month, but I was informed by my roommate that my spot-on portrayal of George Washington Carver could be considered "wildly racist".

Bernadette: Smells ripe in here. You can kinda feel it in your eyes.

Howard: He's just decided that he'll never leave his apartment ever again.
Sheldon: Oh, good, I've been itching to pull that trigger.