Sheldon: While I disagree with the premise of tenure, if they gave it to me, it wouldn't diminish my output. You know, I'm like the sun. Can't turn this off.

Raj: Born in New Delhi, the third son of an itinerant gynaecologist, I showed early signs of genius. At age five, I discovered a celestial object which later turned out to be the moon.

Sheldon: I won't be able to make our date night this Thursday, so, bad news for you.
Amy: Well you better have a good excuse this time. Because trimming Q-tips to fit your ears right is obvious nonsense.

Sheldon: I don't know what you're doing, but I was about to insinuate that I had coitus with Raj's mother for a dollar.

Barry Kripke: I'd love to babysit for you. Kids love me. Something about me just makes them waff and waff.

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not do cozy.