Bernadette: Burbank Airport, please.
Penny: Vegas, here we come.
Bernadette: No husbands, no boyfriends, no rules.
Amy: No rules? We're not gonna get drunk and have a six way with the Blue Man Group, are we?
Penny: No.
Amy: So there are some rules.
Bernadette: Fine. No husbands, no boyfriends, some rules.
Amy: Thank you. Vegas!

Howard: The ladies are away, the boys will play.
Raj: Anything can happen.
Leonard: It's gonna get crazy.
Sheldon: Dungeons & Dragons!

Sheldon: I've got a brand-new seven piece set of polyhedral dice. Hello, new dice smell.
Leonard: I've got my helm of lordly might, my boots of speed, and if things get too exciting, my inhaler of asthma.
Raj: I got my new bloodthirsty savage warrior who will lay waste to all who stand before him. And I had a sensible salad for lunch, so I can eat all the pizza I want.
Howard: Come on, are we gonna sit around chatting like a bunch of teenage girls, or are we gonna play D&D like a bunch of teenage boys who are never gonna have sex with those teenage girls?

Sheldon: I'm not sure how I feel about Howard being dungeon master instead of you.
Leonard: Oh, that's nice. But relax, sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you wound up liking him.
Sheldon: Oh, please. Every time the topic of change comes up, you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut, Zachary Quinto. I'm upset that daylight saving time started, Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight saving time ended, Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time, Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event. So stop using him against me.

Raj: Oh, Lucy's free after all. See ya.
Leonard: Hey, hey, hey. You can't leave. We just started.
Raj: You're right, I should finish the game. I take my plus-one long sword, stab myself in the face with it. I'm dead. I've got a date with a girl. Bye.

Amy: You guys enjoy your evening. I'm gonna go before I ruin anybody else's weekend.
Sheldon: Ah, that's my girl.

Leonard: Amy, wait. I know it's not the night you had in mind, but why don't you guys stay and play with us? It'll be fun.
Sheldon: It would? Fun? Okay, three weeks ago you bought crunchy peanut butter, now you want the girls to play D&D? Do you have a drug problem?

Penny: Okay, who wants a drink?
Sheldon: Now, Penny, we don't consume alcohol during Dungeons & Dragons. It impairs our judgment.
Penny: Oh, this isn't alcohol. It's a magic potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.

Penny: You know what? Give me the dice, I want to roll.
Howard: The dungeon master's supposed to roll.
Penny: Yeah, well Im supposed to be in Vegas throwing up on a shrimp buffet. Now give it.

Penny: Fifteen's the point, the point is fifteen. Give the little lady some room. Here it is, coming out. Sixteen! Yes! Oh, please tell me we're playing for money.
Sheldon: Oh, even better than money. You gained experience points.
Penny: More potion, please.

Leonard: All right, Amy, there's one ogre left. Take him out.
Amy: Okay.
Penny: Pretend he's that TSA agent. Come on.
Amy: Nineteen. Yes, this is turning out to be even better than Vegas.
Penny: No, it's not.

Raj: Lucy?
Lucy: Hey, long time no see.
Raj: You don't know me very well, but each time you crawl out a bathroom window to escape my company, it chips away at my masculinity.

Sheldon: Oh, I don't know about you guys, but I have been through the emotional wringer tonight.
Bernadette: This may be the potion talking, but you are one fine-ass dungeon master.
Howard: Oh, yeah? Well, when we get home, I'm gonna take you on a whole different adventure.
Sheldon: Another quest by Wolowitz? Count me in.
Amy: Sheldon, they're talking about sex.
Sheldon: Oh, then I'm out.

Howard: The love spell takes effect. When Sheldon looks at Amy, she is the most beautiful half-orc he's ever seen, and he's overcome with a desire to rip her armor off and gaze fondly at her four hairy breasts. When Amy sees Sheldon, he looks, well, just like Sheldon, 'cause apparently she’s into that.

Amy: You don't have to come in here and cheer me up.
Sheldon: Thank you. Would you go tell everyone else that? Because they sure think otherwise.