Amy: Have you ever wondered why Arthur didn't want you to read his paper?
Sheldon: Yes, I have. And my only conclusion is the prescription he was picking up the other day was for cuckoo pills.

Professor Proton: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's been pointed out by my girlfriend that I may have been annoying to you.
Professor Proton: She sounds like a keeper.

Sheldon: Now that you and I are friends again, I am at your disposal. And frankly, lending my name and reputation to it will help. Because a lot of people think you're a washed up has-been ... or dead.
Professor Proton: I should be so lucky.

Professor Proton: If someone had told me people would still call me Professor Proton when I was eighty-three years old, I never would have quit smoking.

Bill Nye: What are you guys working on?
Leonard: We're making nano-vacuum tubes.
Bill Nye: Interesting.
Professor Proton: Haven't you stolen enough from? Back off bow-tie!

*Leonard's phone vibrates*
Leonard: Oh, God.
Professor Proton: What is it?
Leonard: Sheldon just sent me a picture of him and Bill Nye getting smoothies.

Leonard: Oh, gees.
Professor Proton: Another photo from Sheldon?
Leonard: No, I have to go pick him up. Bill Nye ditched him at the smoothie place.
Professor Proton: He probably stole his wallet too.

Sheldon: Arthur, I'm surprised to see your here.
Professor Proton: Yeah, me too. Somewhere around the third floor I began to see a white light.

Professor Proton: Sheldon, in a couple of hours I have to get up, pee and then wander around the house.

Sheldon: As it happens, I'm also spending the day with a beloved children's science personality. Isn't that right, new friend and colleague Bill Nye, the Science Guy?
Sheldon: Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.