Penny: This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol, she generally means business.

Sheldon: I'm exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can't take this away.

Howard: How are the taxes going?
Bernadette: Okay, but you've got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.
Howard: Those are business expenses. You can write those off.
Bernadette: A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.

Leonard: We cover ourselves in body paint and then we get on this big canvas and do our thing.
Penny: Woah, that's kind of a big step for a guy who only recently agreed to take his socks off.

Bernadette: What's happening?
Howard: Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm gonna miss her.

Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
Amy: Let's say it together.
Sheldon and Amy: We're getting a turtle!

Amy: Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.
Sheldon: It's true. It means we care so much about each other, there's enough left over for an eight-ounce reptile.

Leonard: Why a turtle?
Sheldon: After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet. They don't shed fur. They don't make noise.
Amy: For Halloween, we can dress him as a cobble stone.
Sheldon: And, if he ever goes beserk, I know I can out run him. Coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate.

Sheldon: How about this one?
Amy: He's barely moving. He looks half dead.
Sheldon: I know. I like him too.

Sheldon: What should we name him? I came in thinking Seth, but he kinda looks Italian.

Penny: Come on, we are not old, boring people. We can do better than this.
Leonard: That's true. How late did we stay up last night?
Penny: Almost 1 am.
Leonard: Damn straight almost 1 am. And we weren't even watching TV, we were watching Netflix like the kids do.
Penny: Yeah. Is it a comedy, is it a drama? Nobody knows!

Sheldon: So you're saying you wouldn't leave me for the chance to be one of the first humans to colonize another planet?
Amy: I would at least mention it before filling out the application.
Sheldon: Hmm. That's exactly what Leonard, Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Bernadette and Penny said.

Amy: And who says you could even survive an inter-planetary mission anyway? You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite.
Sheldon: First of all, this has only made me stronger.

Howard: I think you broke the dowels. You're not gonna have time to glue it back on. You'll have to nail it.
Raj: With what?
Howard: Does she have any pillows or wine glasses?
Raj: She does.
Howard: Great. Neither of those. Try a hammer!
Raj: Did that feel good? You feel like a big man now?

Sheldon: Being in close quarters, cleanliness is important. My hygiene is impeccable. In fact, animals don't trust me because I smell like nothing. Literally, nothing.