Sheldon: I believe the condensation on your frozen foods weakened the structural integrity of the bag. But returning to your key conundrum, perhaps you should call a locksmith and have him open the door for you.
Penny: I did, and he said he'll get here when he gets here.
Sheldon: And you're frustrated because he phrased his reply in the form of a meaningless tautology?
Penny: No! I am frustrated because I am a failure at everything and my breath smells like fly.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: What's with him?
Leonard: Penny is keeping him up at night.
Howard: Me too. But probably in a different way.

Leslie: Hello men. Sheldon.

Sheldon: Sheldor, back online.
Penny: What's AFK?
Sheldon: AFK. Away from keyboard.
Penny: Oh, I see.
Sheldon: What does that stand for?
Penny: "Oh, I see"?
Sheldon: Yes, but what does it stand for?