Penny: This is between me and Leonard.
Amy: Screw Leonard! We were supposed to get pregnant together. We were gonna be barf buddies. We were supposed to massage each other's perineums with vitamin E.
Penny: I'm about to be your barf buddy right now.

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Amy: Hey. Wait a minute, what about us? I mean, we're married now. Maybe we want to buy the house next door.
Sheldon: Well, Amy, we can't move. I'd have to change all the tags in my underwear.
Amy: You can buy new ones.
Sheldon: New house, new underwear. What am I, in the Witness Protection Program?

Amy: What the hell, Penny?!
Penny: I'm gonna need more than that.
Amy: You're not having kids? How could you do this to me?
Penny: How is it any of your business?
Amy: Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. Who's gonna be friends with them now?
Penny: They will find other friends.
Amy: Oh, sure, 'cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up!

Sheldon: You're awfully quiet.
Leonard: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, I like it.
Leonard: Got a lot on my mind.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: Grape Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride, things are really breaking my way today.