Penny: All right, Sheldon, this craziness has gone on long enough. Please come home so I can cut your hair.
Sheldon: Penny, you're not trained. You're not licensed. Most importantly, you don't have access to my haircut records.
Penny: All right, honey, look, we've known each other for a long time now, right? I've taken you to Disneyland, I kicked a bully in the nuts for you, I sing you Soft Kitty when you're sick. You even saw me naked once.
Leonard: I'm sorry. Uh, what?
Penny: It was a long story. Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I'm doing. Please let me cut your hair.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: It's 3 in the morning!
Sheldon: 3 in the morning is a good time for bongos.
Leonard: I was sleeping!
Sheldon: Leonard sleep while I play bongos.
Leonard: No, I don't.
Sheldon: Leonard no sleep while I play bongos.

Sheldon: Bongo solo!

Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Wherever the music takes me, kitten.