Penny: Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

Leonard: You call that a glow stick? *Pulls out a Lightsaber* That is a glow stick!

Raj: They don't call me Brown Dynamite for nothin'.