Amy: As my mom used to say, "When you're doing a puzzle, it's like you've got a thousand friends." She was full of fun lies like that.

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Amy: But enough about Penny, let's talk about us. We're looking good.
Bernadette: We are.
Amy: Better than good. I mean look at you, your body's bangin'.
Bernadette: Amy!
Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those hadron colliders?

Amy: I tried to ask him about it, and he invoked section three, article five of the marriage contract: beeswax, none of your.

Penny: [to Raj] Run to India.

Bernadette: (Shouting at another driver) Your kid might be a honor student but you're a moron!

Amy: Scavenger hunts at Harvard were really tough. I always got stuck on the first challenge, trying to find someone to be on a team with me. I guess that story's more sad than funny.