Penny: Look, I'm telling you I've done it. I clearly remember the cow standing up and then a cow on its side.
Leonard: Were you drunk?
Penny: I was sixteen and in Nebraska, what do you think?
Leonard: I think you're the one who fell over.
Penny: Well that would explain why the sky was also on its side.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Penny: Howard, cow tipping - real or not?
Howard: I'm going to say not. That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she's snoring.

Mike: I don't know what's scarier: the bathroom clowns or the woman that put them there?
Sheldon: All I know is you can only fit one of her in a car.
*Howard walks in*
Sheldon: And there's the clown that came out of her!

Amy: It says here you can get an annulment if any of the following conditions were met: Were you unable to consummate the marriage?
Sheldon: Penny!? Ha! Next ...