Dan: You're scared of Bernadette?
Penny: Yeah, kinda.
Dan: I thought it was just me! Everyone thinks she's so nice with the little squeaky voice!

Sheldon: Leonard, as soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. *Checks for Amy's reaction* Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon: Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have you tried doing that?
Officer Hernandez: Nope.
Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. There's lots of books called Sherlock Holmes and there's no books called Officer Hernandez.

Sheldon: I feel renewed. I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way. *Sees Penny* Your hair is different. You changed your hair. I can't take this. I'm out.