Penny: *thinking* Okay, it's just an audition. Why am I nervous? Maybe it's a good thing. Just means I want it. And I can have it. This feels right. Why did I ever give this up? *opens door and sees room packed with women reading scripts* *speaking quietly* I'm starting to remember.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Eye of the Tiger"* It's the eye of the tiger, it's the ear of the bat. It's the whiskers of a catfish and the walrus--
Howard: Hang on. Not that your song isn't terrible-- it is... but how do you mention bats and leave out sonar?
Sheldon: You didn't let me finish. *singing* And also regarding the bat. It has sonar.

Howard: First take a picture with me.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Well, Raj and I always talked about learning how to make cocktails like this together, so I taught myself and I'm putting this on Instagram so he can see it and feel like a turd. Say cheese!

Raj: Okay, so, what it sounds like is, what we want is a device that can deliver a message through not only sight, but other senses, as well.
Leonard: The most basic sense that any space-faring civilization would have to possess is touch.
Raj: Ooh. Ooh, ooh! We could make a video-playing device that simultaneously translates the information into a tactile medium.
Leonard: All we have to do is rig up a 3-D communication system!
Raj: We-we can totally do that!
Leonard: I know!
Raj: This is great!
Leonard: Yeah, you know what else it is?
Raj: What?
Leonard: Exactly what Sheldon and Howard said.
Raj: Well, thank you for peeing in my slippers.