Leonard: Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him it's not a good time for Randall to visit.
Penny: Hopefully, he won't be too upset.
Leonard: Oh, you're his little girl. He can't stay mad at you.
Penny: He won't be mad at me. I mean, you're the one who doesn't want my brother to come, so-
Leonard: So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
Penny: Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Amy: Well, everybody has things that they need help with. Like me. I can't see without my glasses. And right now you're just a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge.

Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.