Penny: I don't see the big deal if my brother comes and stays for a while.
Leonard: If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
Penny: He would get his own place.
Leonard: Has he ever had his own place?
Penny: Yes!
Leonard: Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
Penny: It still counts.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Amy: Well, everybody has things that they need help with. Like me. I can't see without my glasses. And right now you're just a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge.

Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.