Howard: Ready for bed?
Bernadette: No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother's been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, she sometimes has problems doing her business. Hang on. Ma, give up! Tonight's not your night!
Mrs. Wolowitz: You don't know that! I just sat down!

Bernadette: Besides, Penny and I are having a girl's night tonight.
Amy: Girls night, what does that entail?
Bernadette: Oh you know, girls get together hang out share girl talk.
Amy: I'm a girl.
Bernadette: Oh well maybe you could join us. I'll ask Penny.
Amy: No need, Penny and I are very close.
Leonard: You are?
Amy: Yes, In fact our mensies are synchronized.

Penny: You locked them in your basement?
Dr. Lorvis: Well, they're not locked in. The door just sticks.
Penny: Okay, so how do they unstick it?
Dr. Lorvis: They'd need the key.

Penny: Okay, you can't just go chasing after every girl who's nice to you.
Dr. Lorvis: Well, that's not what Sheldon says, and he seems to know his way around the ladies.

Amy: The only person who signed my yearbook was my mother. "Dear Amy, self respect and a hymen are far better than friends and fun. Love, mom."

Bernadette: Good Morning, handsome.
Howard: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette: It's me!

Amy: I have a sorta kinda boyfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.