Howard: Ready for bed?
Bernadette: No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother's been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, she sometimes has problems doing her business. Hang on. Ma, give up! Tonight's not your night!
Mrs. Wolowitz: You don't know that! I just sat down!

Amy: The only person who signed my yearbook was my mother. "Dear Amy, self respect and a hymen are far better than friends and fun. Love, mom."

Bernadette: Good Morning, handsome.
Howard: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette: It's me!

Amy: I have a sorta kinda boyfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.