Penny: Spaghetti okay?
Leonard: It's crunchy. Just the way I like it.
Penny: Yeah, I don't think the water was really boiling.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: I did a bad thing.
Sheldon: Does it affect me?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

Stephen Hawking: What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck.

Sheldon: Steven Hawking's a genius and he talks like a robot. It's everything I ever wanted in a friend.