Penny: What are you saying? That I'm using my body to get dinner? That I'm some sort of Chinese food prostitute?

Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

Sheldon: There once was a brave lad named Leonard.
With a fi fi fiddle dee dee.
He faced a fearsome giant.
While Raj just wanted to pee.

Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.