Friendship Algorithm T-Shirt
This officially licensed white The Big Bang Theory t-shirt features a flowchart demonstrating Dr. Sheldon Cooper's algorithm for making friends.
When Sheldon needed Barry Kripke's help to get access to the university's open science computer grid, Sheldon sought to befriend Barry. After reading a book on the subject (Stu the Cockatoo is New at the Zoo), Sheldon devised this formula - after a little help from Howard, who suggest a loop counter and an exit to the least objectionable activity.
Although Sheldon's algorithm did help him befriend Kripke, it probably wasn't worth passing out during rock-climbing as Kripke revealed he couldn't help his friends get access to the computer. Oh well, your mileage may vary.
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