Amy: Well, I'm really happy for you.
Sheldon: Oh, no. It's not just me. No, the railway is four hours from the nearest airport, and guess who gets to drive me.
Amy: I give up.
Sheldon: You!
Amy: No. I really give up.

Penny: Seriously, let's plan a night, you know, give you a break. We could go dancing.
Bernadette: That sounds really nice.
Amy: Oh. All this week, the Early Music Society of Pasadena is doing a joint concert with the San Gabriel Renaissance Choir.
Penny: Okay, that's the one to beat.
Amy: Good luck. People have been saying that for 600 years.

Bernadette: For Howie's occupation, should I include that he was an astronaut?
Amy: Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not?

Sheldon: I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not.
Amy: Yes, you are. There have definitely been days when I was sad and you could tell.
Sheldon: Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel. You're kind of a sad sack. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just upset.
Amy: No, see, right there, you knew you hurt my feelings. And I'm proud of you - for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father.

Amy: Well, everybody has things that they need help with. Like me. I can't see without my glasses. And right now you're just a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge.

Leonard: What do you say?
Sheldon: I get to write a contract? I say, let's get this party of the first part started!
(Amy enthusiastically laughs)
Penny: Do you really think that's funny?
Amy: It's in our agreement. I have to laugh.

Amy: I'll miss you.
Sheldon: I'll miss you, too.
Amy: I'll miss you more.
Sheldon: Well, if X equals the amount that you'll miss me, then I'll miss you X plus one.
Amy: (giggles) If you miss me X plus one, I'll miss you open parentheses X plus one, close parentheses to the second-

Amy: I'll call you when we get to the hotel.
Sheldon: And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?
Amy: I will bring them home so you can show me how Godzilla takes a shower.

Amy: Penny, is it weird that we're having girls' night here, but you don't live here anymore, so it's basically my girls' night?
Penny: I hadn't really thought about it.
Amy: But now you're thinking about it and it bothers you? I get that.

Bernadette: It's okay, Howie never has on pants. The Domino's guy brings the pizza like this now. (covering her eyes)
Amy: Well, Sheldon always has his pants on. I don't think I could pick his knees out of a lineup.

Penny: Just, it's like since we got married, he doesn't really try anymore.
Amy: Uh, Penny? I don't know how to say this, but this is my first girls' night and you're kind of bumming everybody out.

Penny: So tell me, how did Sheldon look with an earring?
Amy: Like the pirate who helps the other pirates connect to the Internet.

Amy: This was a potential issue, so I got out ahead of it and I managed the situation for you.
Sheldon: You "managed the situation"?
Amy: That's right.
Sheldon: So my mother thought I was incapable of finding a mate, and my mate thinks I'm incapable of running my own life.
Amy: Not your whole life! I mean, science. You got that. Organizing your sock drawer, you're the king.

[In Mary Cooper's living room]
Sheldon: And I don't understand why you're taking her side. By being my girlfriend, she's saying you're a weirdo, too.
Amy: I don't think that's what she's saying.
[Cut to Sheldon and Amy in the apartment kitchen, telling Leonard and Penny the story of their trip]
Sheldon: And?
Amy: That's exactly what she was saying.

Leonard: How did you get him in the car?
Amy: I rented one of those carts, pushed him toward the open door and just let inertia take care of the rest.