Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.

Howard: No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
Leonard: Okay, let me see if I understand this. You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?
Sheldon: Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.

Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: "Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud."
Raj: A Milk Dud?
Sheldon: Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
Leonard: I got a better idea. Were all responsible. I say we all go. Come on, who's with me? Free comic books to anyone who comes with me. I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
Raj: Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing yourself.

Zack: I haven't been to a comic book store in literally a million years.
Sheldon: Literally? Literally a million years?

Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up. What about environmental factors. Describe the scene for me?
Amy: I was sitting in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette drinking water. Carbonated as it was a special occasion. Penny's friend Zack stopped by and said 'hello' and I said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: Who?
Amy: Zack.
Sheldon: Then why did you ask?
Amy: Ask what?
Sheldon: Who?
Amy: Zack.
Sheldon: All right, lets start over. What did you say when Zack walked in?
Amy: 'Whoo'.
Sheldon: Zack.
Amy: Why do you keep saying Zack?
Sheldon: Because you keep saying who?
Amy: I'm not saying 'whoo' now, I said 'whoo' last night.
Sheldon: And the answer is Zack, correct?
Amy: There was no question, I simply said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: All right I think I have enough to go on.

Sheldon: It's illegal to spay a human being.

Sheldon: Good grief. It's like talking to a dolphin.

Sheldon: What is the best number? By the way, there's only one correct answer.
Raj: 5,318,008?
Sheldon: Wrong. The best number is 73. [short silence] You're probably wondering why.
Leonard & Howard: No, no, we're good.
Sheldon: 73 is the 21st prime number, its mirror 37 is the 12th and its mirror 21 is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, 7 and 3. Did I lie?
Leonard: We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.
Sheldon: Chuck Norris wishes. In binary, 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001, exactly the same. All Chuck Norris gets you backwards is Sirron Kcuhc.
Raj: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down it spells boobies.

Sheldon: Clarify something for me. Isn't the point of a communal meal the exchange of ideas and opinions, an opportunity to consider important issues of the day?
Leonard: It is. You just kinda put a damper on things when you said, 'The next person I see talking with food in their mouth will be put to death'.

Sheldon: You know, in difficult moments like this, I often turn to a force greater than myself.
Amy: Religion?
Sheldon: Star Trek.

Sheldon: Go, Amy Farrah Fowler. Follow your endocrine system.
Amy: Thank you, Sheldon. You are a good friend.

Penny: Are you saying that Amy is, oh, what's the scientific word-
Sheldon: Forget science: she's horny.

Sheldon: Yes, this is doctor Sheldon Cooper. Is this the Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny? Sorry to bother you. (to different person) Hello I'm looking for a Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny. Coitus. It means intercourse and I have a feeling I'm speaking to the right Zack.

Sheldon: Possible explanations for your symptoms are, in descending order of likelihood: hyperthyroidism, premature menopause, hosting an alien parasite, or, and I only include it for the sake of covering absolutely all bases, sexual arousal.
Amy: Where would I have picked up an alien parasite?

Sheldon: What were the symptoms?
Amy: Elevated heart rate, moist palms, dry mouth and localized vascular throbbing.
Sheldon: Localized to what region?
Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up.