Gablehauser: AA, I need your official answer.
Sheldon: Well, it's not what he said.
Gablehauser: Then what is it?
Sheldon: I want a different question.
Gablehauser: You can't have a different question.
Sheldon: Formal Protest!
Gablehauser: Denied!
Sheldon: Informal Protest!
Gablehauser: Denied! I need your official answer.
Sheldon: No, I decline to provide one.
Gablehauser: Well, that's too bad, because the answer your teammate gave was correct.
Sheldon: That's your opinion.

Sheldon: I will form my own team and will destroy the molecular bonds that hold your matter together, and reduce the resulting particular chaos to tears.
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.

Sheldon: Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... You know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh God, now even you're smarter than me.

Sheldon: Engineering. Where the noble semiskilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.

Dr. Gablehauser: Okay, well, speaking of spreads, we're having a small welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim who's agreed to join us here at the university.
Sheldon: Of course he has. The Oracle told us little Neo was the one. You can see the matrix, can't you?

Howard: Sheldon, there's a diploma in my office that says I have masters in engineering.
Sheldon: And you also have a note from your mother that says "I love you, Bubula" but neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nano-tubes.

Sheldon: Yeah, I think you'll appreciate this, very exciting.
Dr. Gablehauser: Oh, what are you working on?
Sheldon: Something remarkable. Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in physics have disappeared, thank you very much, I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Look, I'm going to solve the Middle-East Crisis by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert.
Dr. Gablehauser: To what end?
Sheldon: You know, it's like the baseball movie, build it and they will come.
Dr. Gablehauser: Who will come?
Sheldon: The Jewish people.
Dr. Gablehauser: What if they don't come?
Sheldon: We'll make it nice, put out a spread.

Sheldon: I don't understand your objection, Professor Goldfarb. Why wouldn't the Sonora Desert make a perfectly good Promised Land?
Goldfarb: Go away!
Sheldon: We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.
Goldfarb: Please go away!
Sheldon: Said Pharaoh to Moses!

Sheldon: Ladies and Gentlemen, honored daughters. While Mr. Kim by virtue of his youth and naivete has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you.

Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.
Leonard: Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Assuming the device could be invented which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location, and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual. You would have destroyed him in one location, and recreated him in another.
Leonard: How about that.
Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter. Because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
Leonard: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.
Leonard: That is a problem.

Leonard: So, Dennis, how long have you been in America?
Dennis Kim: A year and a half.
Leonard: No kidding. You speak English really well.
Dennis Kim: So do you. Except for your tendency to end sentences with prepositions.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Dennis Kim: That.
Sheldon: He's not wrong.

Sheldon: Alright, and this is my office.
Dennis Kim: Is this part of the tour?
Sheldon: Nope. Goodbye.
Leonard: Come on, Sheldon, we've hardly shown him anything.
Sheldon: Oh, alright. This is my desk, these are my books, this is my door, please close it behind you. Goodbye.

Leonard: You can't let this kid get to you. You always knew that someday someone would come along who was younger and smarter.
Sheldon: Yes, but I assumed I would have been dead hundreds of years, and that there would be an asterisk by his name because he would be a cyborg.

Penny: So, you've got a bit of competition, I really don't see what the big deal is.
Sheldon: Well of course you don't, you've never excelled at anything.

Sheldon: What exactly is it you do? I know you chatter on about it all the time, but I've never really paid attention.
Leonard: Okay, well, right now I'm designing an experiment to study the soft component of cosmic radiation at sea-level, but I really don't need any help.
Sheldon: Oh, sure you do. Now, see, what's this here in the schematic, is that a laser array?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Now, hmmm. What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium neon?
Leonard: It would blow up.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Leonard: Pretty sure.
Sheldon: Pretty sure's not very scientific. Is this how you normally work, just hunches and guesses and stuff?