Leonard: Star Trek: The Original Series. The Enterprise was on a five-year mission to explore new worlds. Think of this as your personal five-week mission to do the same.
Sheldon: If you want to lure me in with sexy talk, that's how you do it.
*Leonard smiles at Penny*
Penny: Don't be proud of that.

Penny: Wait. Why don't you guys stay across the hall, and we will live here?
Sheldon: Interesting. If my official residence were across the hall, I wonder if I'd need to knock every time I came over here.

Sheldon: I accept this five-week mission to share a living space with my girlfriend.
Amy: Oh, this is so exciting.
Sheldon: Well, now, don't be surprised if, like Star Trek, it's canceled in three.

Bernadette: Let me see the sonogram again. (laughs) Oh, yeah, that's a good-looking baby for a little gray blob.
Howard: Yeah, we could name him Blobert.
Bernadette: What if it's a girl?
Howard: Bloberta. Or Blobbi with an "I."

Amy: You've been roommates with Sheldon forever. Do you have any advice?
Leonard: I'm trying to think of an answer that won't stop you from doing this.

Sheldon: How many pairs of underwear did you pack for the move?
Amy: I don't know. I didn't count.
Sheldon: You truly are the Goofus to my Gallant.
Amy: That's me.

Amy: Well, if you're nervous about the sleeping arrangements, maybe we should talk about it.
Sheldon: Okay. Talk.
Amy: Well, I imagine one of your concerns might be coital expectations.
Sheldon: Wow, no foreplay or anything, just right to it.
Amy: Look, I know this experiment is a big step outside of your comfort zone. So why don't we take being physical off the table and maybe later on, once we're more settled in, we can revisit it.
Sheldon: You're really okay with that?
Amy: I've never lived with someone, either. This is a lot for me, too.

Sheldon: Oh, don't forget. Tuesday the air filters need to be changed.
Penny: Yeah, you wrote it on my hand.

Sheldon: Oh, and every other day, check the water level on the avocado pit.
Leonard: I'm on it. Fifteen years from now, we'll make guacamole together.

Amy: Sheldon, will you please just pick a side?
Sheldon: Fine. Okay, now, on this side, I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
Amy: Great. That's your side.
Sheldon: No, but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
Amy: Okay, I'll take that side.
Sheldon: Ah, then again, what are the odds of someone attacking me?
Amy: Rising rapidly.

Sheldon: Now, this side offers me proximity to the bathroom, but I am closer to the window where perverts can watch me sleep.
Amy: Okay. What if we do this? (Amy closes the drapes)
Sheldon: I suppose that works.
Amy: Great.
Sheldon: Although now I'm kind of worried someone's hiding behind those drapes.

(Amy enters from the ensuite bathroom after Sheldon overheard her pre-bed routine)
Amy: Why'd you switch sides?
Sheldon: Be grateful I'm still in the room.

Penny: Wow! Where did you learn these moves?
Leonard: The world may have forgotten about Dance Dance Revolution, but not this smooth criminal.

Amy: I don't know if I can make it through five weeks living with him.
Leonard: If you ever need a break, the owner of the train store will let you leave him there while you get a coffee.

Sheldon: Good morning! See? I didn't knock, but it's fine. (Quietly to himself) I didn't knock, but it's fine. I didn't knock, but it's fine.