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Quotes from ‘The Collaboration Fluctuation’

The Collaboration Fluctuation

The Collaboration Fluctuation
Season 10, Episode 19 - Aired March 30, 2017

When Penny and Raj enjoy spending time together as roommates, Leonard starts to feel like a third wheel. Meanwhile, Sheldon's interest in Amy's work leads them to collaborate, but they soon find they can only work well together when they're at each other's throats.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Why don't you ask me what I'm working on?
Sheldon: Oh, very well. What have you been working on? And feel free to honk during the boring parts.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Oh, it's just nice to be with people who are happy to have me around. Isn't that right, Halley?
*Halley starts crying*
Howard: Well, at least someone had the courage to say it.

Quote from Amy

Amy: "Revised ground rule number two: There are definitely stupid questions. And those who ask them can be told so right to their stupid face."
Sheldon: I love that one.
Amy: Thanks, babe.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Things have been going really well with the infinite resistance gyroscope.
Amy: That's great. How so?
Sheldon: Oh, the project is classified. I can't tell you. Oh, I suppose I could redact the classified parts. All right, um, I came up with an elegant solution to the (honks horn). I used the (honks horn) And then I (honks horn) And that did it. (honks horn)

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Wait, are you saying if we combine my experiment with your calculations, we can determine the precise moment in time when the wave function collapses?
Sheldon: It could be the most inspired combination since I mixed red Icee into my blue Icee. It was like drinking 2/7ths of the rainbow.
Amy: Sheldon, this is really interesting.
Sheldon: Yeah and this one won't stain my teeth purple.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Look, Raj just gets along with women.
Leonard: I know, but he was my friend first. It's like she's stealing him and they're just having the best time doing all their dumb girly stuff together.
Howard: You sure you don't fit in? You sound like a catty bitch to me.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You know, downward-facing dog comes from the Sanskrit phrase adho mukha shvanasana.
Penny: Oh, that's beautiful. What does it mean?
Raj: "Downward-facing dog."
Penny: Yeah, I guess they don't have Sanskrit for "butts up and heads down."
Raj: Hey, we wrote the Kama Sutra. If it involves butts, there's a word for it.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I thought we were getting breakfast before work.
Penny: Oh, right, sorry.
Raj: It's my fault. I asked Penny to do yoga with me.
Penny: If you want, I can get ready in five minutes.
Leonard: (chuckles) It's cute that you think that.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Hey, can I ask you a favor? Would you mind taking Cinnamon for a walk?
Leonard: Sure. You're living here for free. I guess I owe you.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Yeah, I picked it up without thinking about it. Which raises a neuro-scientific question, when did I decide to pick it up?
Raj: The bigger question is, what are you gonna eat with that spoon? You didn't get any food.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy is studying the time lag between intent and awareness, and I realized that applies to the measurement problem in quantum mechanics. Now, I recognize there will be a time lag between me saying that and you Googling what it means, so I'll wait.
Leonard: I understand it, Sheldon.
Raj: Yeah, me, too.
Howard: I'm sorry, I spaced. Are we still talking about the spoon?

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: You know, we've never collaborated professionally before. Are you worried it might affect our relationship?
Sheldon: That is a valid point. Perhaps we should establish some ground rules.
Amy: Well, that would make me feel better.
Sheldon: All right, let's start right now. Uh, rule number one, no using sexuality to get your way.
Amy: That's a ridiculous rule.
Sheldon: Is it? (Sheldon flaunts his posterior as he walks away)

Quote from Raj

Penny: Okay, how is that?
Raj: I can actually feel the toxins being pulled out of my skin.
Penny: Well, this is a moisturizing mask.
Raj: Oh, well, then I can actually feel the moisture going into my skin.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Number two: when we publish, my name goes first. Oh, subsequently, if we win any awards, I speak first. I don't want to be talking when the orchestra plays us off.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: I mean, they didn't say anything, but I just kind of felt like I was being a weird third wheel.
Howard: Huh, so you can tell what that feels like. Interesting.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: So, shall we get to work?
Sheldon: Biology and physics coming together. This is like the peanut butter cup of the mind. Ooh, I know what I want my treat to be.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I mean, I'm glad they're getting along, but it's starting to make me uncomfortable.
Bernadette: Well, are you worried he's like another man in her life?
Leonard: A little, until I saw them in matching tops.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Can you stop breathing so loud? I can hear your nose whistling.
Amy: I can hear your face talking, so we're even.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: You know, it's nice to spend time with people who don't talk about work like it's some kind of soap opera.
Bernadette: Jennifer still trying to sleep her way to the top?
Leonard: (deflated) Yeah.

Quote from Howard

Howard: You should be happy someone wants to do the stuff with Penny you don't want to.
Bernadette: Yeah, I wish I had that with Howard.
Howard: Wait. What? What do I make you do?
Bernadette: Let's see: the magic store, the Doctor Who convention, the National Belt Buckle Collector's meet and greet.
Howard: It said right there on the invitation, "Buckle up for fun." It's not my fault you didn't listen.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Can you read them back?
Amy: "Revised ground rule number one: We are on the same team, but it is a competition."
Sheldon: Excellent. Excellent. And on a related point, you're going down, punk.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: "Number three: Fair topics for insult include educational pedigree, scientific field, intellectual prowess, and mamas."
Sheldon: Yeah, that list is strong. Like your mother's urge to be promiscuous with sailors.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Hey, Olsen twins!
Penny: What?
Leonard: Well, I mean, I'm sitting right here. You're talking about my feelings and somehow leaving me out of the conversation.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, what do you know? Here I was, waiting to be bored with biology, and instead you tickle my intellectual fancy. Which, unlike my body, is an okay place to tickle.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Gentlemen, the most interesting thing just happened with this spoon.
Howard: Unless it was singing "Be Our Guest," I doubt it.

Quote from Amy

Amy: You know, I like harp lessons, but I'm thinking of switching to elevator repair lessons.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I bet Jennifer gets a promotion out of this, which is so unfair because I work twice as hard as she does.
Raj: Don't worry, Jerry won't be fooled by that type of behavior.
Leonard: Jerry?
Raj: It didn't work for Randy, it didn't work for Tina, it sure as hell isn't gonna work for Jennifer.
Penny: Well, I hope not. I just hate when people play those kinds of games.
Leonard: Tina?
Raj: With your sales record, you have nothing to worry about.
Penny: Mm.
Leonard: I went to your office Christmas party?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I believe I've made some progress on our ground rules.
Amy: Oh, good. What are they?
Sheldon: Okay, uh, number one: in matters of physics, I have the final say. In matters of neuroscience, you have the final say. Unless I disagree.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Number three. To avoid getting frustrated, we take built-in breaks and reward our successes with a small treat.
Sheldon: Ooh, that sounds fun. Now, we're talking about real treats, right? Not Bible verses like my mother used to give me.
Amy: Whatever you want.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Look at that.
Sheldon: Yes, this is remarkable.
Amy: So we're agreed: it's complete garbage.
Sheldon: By the way, your name can go first.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Nice. 174 diapers. That ought to get us to Wednesday.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Well, have you talked to them about it?
Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to say-- "Stop having fun without me"?
Howard: This one says that every time I go out. See? I listen to you.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, either blow your nose or teach it to play "Camptown Races."

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yeah, boy, if good ideas came out of your brain the way mucus comes out of your nose, we'd be in good shape.

Quote from Bernadette

Leonard: I'm sure I'm overreacting.
Bernadette: You're entitled to feel how you feel. If you don't like it, you should just talk to her.
Leonard: I don't want to sound like a jealous baby.
Bernadette: Oh, then maybe you shouldn't talk to her.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: We're finally making progress. I wish we could do it without fighting.
Sheldon: What if the fighting is the reason we're making progress?
Amy: I suppose it's conceivable that the hormones associated with our fight-or-flight response could be sharpening our cognitive processes.
Sheldon: Well, if that's the case, then your grandparents mumble and have bad posture.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It seems we have a choice to make. Abandon all ground rules in the name of science, or give up collaborating for the sake of our relationship.
Amy: There's only one clear choice.
Sheldon: Science it is.
Amy: No, you bonehead!
Sheldon: Name-calling, that is perfect. Now, when I get to this equation here, really let me have it. You know? If it helps, I'm not the sharpest dresser.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: It's nice to see you taking an interest in Amy's work.
Sheldon: Well, don't get me wrong. Neurobiology's nothing more than the science of gray squishy stuff. But, you know, when it connects to physics, gas up the Ford, Martha, we're going for a drive.

Quote from Bernadette

Leonard: Anyway, I figured I can hang out with my friends and have fun too.
Bernadette: Well if your idea of fun is riding in a minivan to Target for diapers, things are about to get nuts.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Like all my underwear, that notebook says "Property of Sheldon Cooper."

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: You know, I had a feeling you were using the wrong computational model, but I didn't say anything 'cause you're so sensitive.
Sheldon: Just because I'm easily bothered by light, heat, smell, sound, and the way birds look at me does not mean I'm sensitive.

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