Amy: Sheldon, don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She's crazy!
Mrs. Fowler: Hello, Amy.
Amy: Hello, Mother.
Mrs. Fowler: Great news. We-we can come for Thanksgiving this year.

Mrs. Fowler: Why would Amy feel the need to lie to me?
Amy: Well, perhaps because you're her mother and she didn't want to disappoint you.
Mrs. Fowler: Really? Even after she threw you under the bus, you're still gonna defend her.
Amy: Oh, yes. She's my wife and I love her. And if I can forgive her for putting ketchup on her eggs, I can forgive her for this.
Mrs. Fowler: Her father does that, it's disgusting.
Sheldon: Amy's crazy, you are a delight.

Anu: Last night was wonderful.
Raj: But all we did was talk.
Anu: Yeah. And it was wonderful. Am I safe to assume you talking to me now is a good sign for our marriage?
Raj: Yeah, and for my liver.

Mrs. Fowler: Thank you, Amy. It's so nice of you to have us over for dinner.
Amy: Couldn't think of a single reason not to.
Sheldon: Yeah, and boy, did she try.
Amy: Thank you, honey.
Sheldon: Oh, you're welcome, dear.

Raj: Hey, you guys have any plans for Valentine's Day?
Leonard: Three months from now? No.
Penny: What? No?
Leonard: I mean, secret romantic plans that would be ruined if I told you.
Bernadette: What's going on, Raj?
Raj: Well, how would you guys feel about going to India for my wedding?
Amy: Oh, that's so exciting!
Leonard: Penny, you will never guess what I have planned for Valentine's Day.

Raj: Hey, guys, before Anu gets here, can I talk about the seating situation? I really don't want her to sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Oh. No problem. Bernadette, floor.
Bernadette: Hey!
Howard: Yeah, you really can't make my wife sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Fine. Howard, floor.

Raj: Oh, I am stuffed! I should not have eaten all those dumplings.
Anu: I think we should have sex.
Raj: Me, too.
Anu: Yeah, it's just, we haven't done it yet, and I think it's important to make sure we're compatible before we get married.
Raj: I totally agree. Oh, just one question. While we're doing it, can I leave my shirt on? You know, the dumplings, pretty salty.

Anu: It doesn't have to be tonight. How about this weekend? I can get us a room at my hotel.
Raj: Okay. Sounds nice. We can order a bunch of room service, because I'm not eating anything between now and then.

Anu: Are you worried?
Raj: I am not worried. If anything, I'm overconfident. Edging into smug.
Anu: I'm sure it's gonna be fine.
Raj: Oh, it's gonna be better than fine. Trust me, I've had no complaints.
Anu: Good to know.
Raj: Well, I've had questions, comments, some constructive criticism, (snorts): but no complaints.

Amy: What are you gonna be doing?
Sheldon: Being a great husband.
Amy: Yeah, you're gonna need to show your work on that.

Sheldon: So, how does this work with in-laws? Am I supposed to be calling you Dad? Because I don't want to.
Mr. Fowler: You don't have to.
Sheldon: Oh, thanks, Larry. Ooh. That doesn't sound right. Maybe I should pick a vegetable for you.

Raj: Hey, Leonard, can you pause the game for a second?
Leonard: Uh, hang on. I'm about to beat Howard. [after Howard pauses the game] What? Hey!
Howard: He's our friend. What's up, pal?

Raj: I don't know how else to say this, but, um, Anu and I are going to have sex tonight.
Howard: Yeah!
Leonard: Do you know how creepy that sounds?
Howard: Yeah!

Bernadette: I'll tell you one thing. Lock the door.

Penny: Yeah, Raj, you're gonna be fine. Just break out some of your Kama Sutra moves.
Raj: I don't really know any of that stuff. I just pretend I do to impress women. And by the way, Anu is Indian, she's gonna know there's no sexual position called a "screeching lotus."
Bernadette: Screeching lotus?
Raj: Sometimes I get leg cramps. It's my cover story.