Raj: Hey, you guys have any plans for Valentine's Day?
Leonard: Three months from now? No.
Penny: What? No?
Leonard: I mean, secret romantic plans that would be ruined if I told you.
Bernadette: What's going on, Raj?
Raj: Well, how would you guys feel about going to India for my wedding?
Amy: Oh, that's so exciting!
Leonard: Penny, you will never guess what I have planned for Valentine's Day.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: So the doctor prescribed Nizoral and it blocked enzyme action, and the fungus cleared right up.
Mrs. Fowler: That's a very disturbing picture.
Sheldon: Yes, well, they say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I say nothing beats a picture and a thousand words.
Mrs. Fowler: Still, you might want to take it off Facebook.
Sheldon: Oh, no. It's in my nature to share.

Howard: Hey, have you checked the dates on these? They're all expired.
Stuart: You buy candy in a comic book store, you get what you get.

Amy: My mom thinks that Sheldon is the reason I don't spend a lot of time with her.
Penny: Well, why would she think that?
Amy: Because I told her. You need a cup of coffee? Wake up!