Leonard: What happened to him?
Howard: He wouldn't sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mother's Valium in it. Tag you're it!

Wolowitz: Qu'est-ce que 'sup?

Sheldon: Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock.

Raj: They don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate. Sadly, that's my homerun swing.

Raj: He was a lot more fun when he had no hope.
Howard: Give him time.

Penny: I meant has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh! Well, a few years ago, he did go out with a woman who had a Ph.D in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing she was French.

Howard: How's the air matress?
Sheldon: It's okay, if you don't mind sleeping on a bouncy castle.

Leonard: You could be Batman?
Sheldon: Yeah. I'm Batman. See?

Penny: It's just this is only our first date.
Leonard: Well, why don't we just figure out where we're going, and when we want to get there, and then rate of speed equals distance over time, solve for 'r'.
Penny: Or we could just wing it.