Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Penny: Honey, have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistent PE teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.

Penny: (To Howard and Raj) So either one of you weirdos wanna buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.

Sheldon: What I am doing here is trying to determine when I am going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research.

Penny: I'm a little low on cash.
Leonard: How much you got?
Penny: Nothing.
Leonard: How can you walk around with no money?
Penny: I'm cute, I get by.

Penny: Hey. Nice knees.
Sheldon: Thank you! They're my mother's.

Penny: What up, Shel-bot?

Leonard: Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB? What's KBB?
Sheldon: Killed by badger.
Leonard: How's that?
Sheldon: It was Thanksgiving. Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight." Those were the last words he ever spoke to us.

Sheldon: I believe I may have cholera.
Leonard: There's no cholera in Pasadena. Just like last summer when there was no malaria in Pasadena.

Sheldon: Pay no attention to that man in the bed.

Leonard: Refresh my memory. Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?
Sheldon: Because I called shotgun, remember?

Penny: The Flash shirt is what? Because you're gonna run really fast?
Sheldon: No, the Flash shirt is because it's Friday. But it's nice when things work out.

Howard: (Repeating what Raj says) You're right, Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.
Sheldon: That's an excellent idea. Yeah, if we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.
Penny: No, it won't.