Howard: I just have a question. Does Bernadette ever talk about me?
Penny: Oh, absolutely.
Howard: She does?
Penny: Yeah, sure. Just yesterday, she asked, why is Howard hiding under the table?
Howard: She saw that, huh?
Penny: Oh, no, not at first. Right after I pointed it out.

Penny: Hey, while we're on the subject, why did you guys break up anyway?
Howard: Oh, I'd rather not say.
Penny: Howard, if you want my help, I've got to know what happened.
Howard: But it's embarrassing.
Penny: Yeah, that's what I'm counting on.

Howard: Well, you know World of Warcraft?
Penny: Um, the online game? Sure.
Howard: Well, did you know that the characters in the game can have sex with each other?
Penny: Oh, God. I think I see where this is going.
Howard: Her name was Glacinda the Troll. Bernadette walked in on me while we were doing the cyber-nasty under the Bridge of Souls.
Penny: Oh, you're right. That is so embarrassing.
Howard: Would you talk to her?
Penny: Bernadette or the troll?

Howard: Will you talk to her, see if there's any chance at all we could get back together?
Penny: Oh, gee, Howard, I really don't want to get in the middle of this.
Howard: No. Why would you? I'm just another lonely nerd, living with his mother, trying to find any scrap of happiness he can. You know, maybe to make up for the fact that his dad left him when he was 11.
Penny: Okay, I will think about it.
Howard: You know, I've always blamed myself for him leaving. I always thought it was because I wasn't the son he wanted.
Penny: Yeah, I said I'd think about it.
Howard: I wasn't athletic, yeah, I was kind of sickly.
Penny: Okay, fine. Look, look, I'm calling her now! See?
Howard: Thank you.

Howard: How have you been?
Bernadette: Okay. You know, busy, school, work. You?
Howard: Same. I took a scuba-diving course over the summer, but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.
Bernadette: Too bad.
Howard: You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit, boy's large? Yeah, forget it. Not important.

Howard: Okay, fine. I'll admit, there are dark, sordid little corners of the Internet where the name Wolowizard is whispered in hushed tones. But the only reason I go there, the only reason I've ever gone there is because I don't have a real woman in my life. You happy?

Penny: Hey, this is a little awkward, but my manager says I can't actually give nachos away. So, just take that [bill] when you're ready.

Howard: Yeah, we had a really great talk, and we're gonna start seeing each other again.
Leonard: Oh, congratulations. Have you broken it to the troll yet?
Howard: Did Penny tell you about that?
Leonard: No. Steve Patterson told me.
Howard: The greasy old fat guy in Facilities Management?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: How’d he know about it?
Leonard: He's Glacinda the troll.