Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
Tod Zarnecki: I don't know what you're talking about.
Penny: Well then good news. Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place. *Kicks him in the groin*

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.

Sheldon: I've never said these words before, but good job, Howard.

Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom.

Sheldon: Why hast thou forsaken me, O deity whose existence I doubt?

Sheldon:Excuse me, Penny, but "Doodle Jump" is a game. "Angry Birds" is a game. "World of Warcraft" is a massively multiplaying online role-playing... All right, technically it's a game.

Sheldon: Oh! There isn't enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.

Penny: Amy is right, I do want to fling my poop at her.

Cop: Your friend called 911 to report a robbery.
Leonard: Oh, my God, what did they get?
Sheldon: What didn't they get? They got my enchanted weapons, my Vicious Gladiator armor, my Wand of Untaimed Power and all my gold.

Sheldon: They also took my battle ostrich.
Leonard: No, not Glen.
Sheldon: Yes, the only bird that I ever loved.

Sheldon: 3000 hours! 3000 hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

Penny: Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
Amy: Ah, here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure Mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen. Yes, please.

Penny: You guys should've seen Leonard when I first met him. There was no eye contact. He was either looking up at the ceiling, or down at his shoes.
Amy: I'm drunk.
Penny: You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say, oh boy, my breast friends.

Bernadette: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm never speaking to Priya again.
Penny: No, don't do that. No reason to be mean to her.
Amy: This may be the alcohol talking, but I believe there is. Are you familiar with the recent study of Tanzanian chimpanzees by Nishida and Hosaka out of Kyoto University?
Penny: No, but I can name all the Kardashians.
Amy: Primates, such as ourselves, have a natural instinct to ostracize ill-mannered members of the troop. Bernadette's urge to shun, scowl or fling her waste at Priya is hard-wired into her DNA.
Bernadette: I don't have an urge to fling my waste.
Amy: Believe me, it's there, we all have it. Hit me with some more booze, and I'll show you.

Penny: Do you want to join us?
Priya: Oh, thank you, but I have work to do.
Amy: Four women walk down the stairs, how many reach the lobby?