Amy: That would be my boyfriend. Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me
Penny: Wars.
Amy: What?
Penny: Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
Amy: What's the difference?
Penny: There is absolutely no difference!

Howard: Now, I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation.
[whip cracks]
Sheldon: You're right. I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out.

Raj: I plan on leveling up in the game, not my swimsuit size, thank you very much.

Raj: Here you go. I've got everything well need for the big game. Low fat turkey jerky, low-carb beer, 100-calorie snack packs.
Leonard: You pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? You might be short one.

Amy: I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself, and everybody was like, "Where's this boyfriend you're always talking about? Is he real, or did you make him up like Armin the miniature horse breeder?"
Penny: Who's Armin the miniature horse breeder?
Amy: The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question how'd you two meet?
Penny: I would have thought at a miniature horse show.
Amy: Oh, that's good.
Penny: Mm.
Amy: I panicked and said Woodstock. I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family.

Sheldon: Amy, the relationship agreement was not designed for either one of us to get our way.
Amy: You use it to get your way.
Sheldon: I use it to get the right way. The fact that the right way is also my way is a happy coincidence.

Penny: Amy, what's wrong?
Amy: My boyfriend's a jerk.
Penny: Well, I know he didn't cheat on you, so what happened?

Howard: Maybe she'll dig it. Women like a firm hand on the tiller.
Raj: I can never find the tiller. I got a book, it didn't help.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon, clear your weekend. Starting Saturday morning, Star Wars marathon.
Raj: Woo-hoo!
Sheldon: Movies or video games? Or board game? Or trading card games? Or Lego's? Or dress up? Or comic books? Or dramatic readings of novelizations? Yes to all!
Leonard: We are going to play the online game.
Sheldon: The online game? Bully!

Amy: No, hang on. I followed all the protocols set forth by you in the relationship agreement. I made a written record request 72 hours in advance. I checked the tire pressure on the car. I even contacted the Centres For Disease Control to find out what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County. FYI, it's none.

Sheldon: Hello Stuart.
Stuart: Hey Sheldon. Help you with anything?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm attending a party this weekend, for a 93-year-old woman. Can you recommend a gift?
Stuart: Uh, I don't know. Could put a tennis ball on the end of Excalibur. Make a pretty badass cane.
Sheldon: Do you supply the tennis ball?
Stuart: No.

Sheldon: What else?
Stuart: Hmm. Oh, have this collectors edition Batman utility belt. Maybe she can use it as a wearable pill caddy.
Sheldon: Well, she'd just look silly wearing that without the rest of the costume.

Sheldon: No, Leonard, go ahead and mock. Like my daddy always said, Shelly, women aren't anything but flippin pains in the bottom.
Leonard: That's what your father used to say?
Sheldon: Well, I took out the bad words and the yeehaw, but you get the gist.

Penny: You can't put a saddle on Leonard Hofstadter. Oh, my, is it getting hot in here? Ay, papi.
Leonard: Ay papi? What is that?
Penny: An acting choice.
Leonard: Oh. So you chose that when you become turned on, you turn into Speedy Gonzalez?
Penny: Choo got a problem with that, papi?

Sheldon: Hello, Penny. I just stopped by to bring you this gift.
Penny: Gummy bears? Thank you.
Sheldon: Now that you're in my debt, please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my commitment to attend her aunt's tedious birthday party.