Amy: It would be nice to be with a man who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan. FYI, it's another cardigan.

Sheldon: As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, "I am a rock. I am an i.....sland".

Raj: Who died and made you the king of moments?

Sheldon: A while back, YouTube changed its user interface from a star-based rating system to a thumbs-up rating system. I tell people I'm okay with it, but I'm really not.

Amy: Your husband's weird and his clothes are ridiculous.

Penny: I get it, I get it. You're an emotionless robot.
Sheldon: Well, I try.

Sheldon: I want you to be happy, too. But not enough to do anything about it.

Amy: Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants and see if we could score us some free omelettes.

Sheldon: Well now I know how it must have felt being mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla.

Sheldon: I own nine pairs of pants.
Penny: Okay, that's a good start. But I was thinking something a bit more personal.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. I own nine pairs of underpants.

Raj: I mean, if I were hitting on you, you’d know it 'cause you'd feel uncomfortable and a little sad for me.

Leonard: Sheldon, it's not a great time. What do you want?
Sheldon: (on the phone in the apartment) Hello to you, too. I'm sorry, but this is important.
Leonard: What is it?
Sheldon: Back to the Future II was in the Back to the Future III case, and Back to the Future III was, get this, in the Back to the Future II case.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, did you do that, or am I in the house with an intruder?

Penny: What's the matter?
Sheldon: Um, well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard. And that might be causing you to have bad dreams, like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.
Penny: Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?
Sheldon: To be honest, I did.
Penny: Aww.
Sheldon: Back to the Future II was in the Back to the Future III case. Leonard did it.

Sheldon: Dear Lord, you're an astronomer. Although you may have earthly woes, get your mind back on the stars. Gee, even the lowly dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating feces, living in feces and making little balls out of feces, so, you know, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.

Penny: Why don't you just admit you only want to play this game because you always play it with Leonard and you miss him?
Sheldon: You overestimate his significance in my life. Do I miss how he makes a face on my toaster waffle with syrup? No. Do I miss the way he fixes the zipper on my jacket when it gets stuck? I don't think so. Do I miss how we say good night to each other through the walls of our bedroom using Morse code? (taps out "no" in morse code)