Bernadette: Are you okay?
Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.
Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there. It's itchy when it grows back.

Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Amy: Yeah, but it's okay.
Penny: How is it okay?
Amy: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.

Penny: Ooh, we could go horseback riding.
Amy: I actually can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump I just popped right off.

Howard: You work in pharmaceuticals. Don't you have anything you can give him?
Bernadette: All I have is our new urine flow drug. Won't help with his anxiety, but it's so strong, when he pees he'll fly around the room like he's got a jet pack.

Penny: Sheldon, we know this is a sensitive subject, and Leonard's not going to move out until you're ready.
Sheldon: What if you did it gradually?
Leonard: All right, how about we start with two nights a week I live with Penny?
Sheldon: How about one night and I let you whistle?
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: When I'm not home.

Penny: Why are there tears?
Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements.
Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk!
Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him.

Howard: So in addition to being crazy, you're resting the weight of the mission on your athletic prowess?
Raj: Yes.
Howard: The man who crashed his stationary bike?
Raj: I didn't crash it, okay? My playlist was too up tempo, I got light headed and I fell off.

Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience or waiting, or just another reminder that you went to space?
Howard: A story can do two things.

Penny: Not really a great outfit for work. Unless something opens up in the Hookers & Whores department.

Raj: Seriously, you were just gonna drive away? Like my life isn't hard enough right now? A space probe might be destroyed. My parents are going through an awful divorce. The guy who cuts my dog's hair just gave her bangs.
Howard: Raj!
Raj: You saw her. She looks like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber!

Sheldon: What kind of store in the 21st century doesn't at least have WiFi? I'm gonna call their corporate office.
Son of a biscuit!

Howard: Now we get to see him flip out because he's worried that it was demolished by space ice.
Raj: Space ice is no joke. I can't even watch Frozen any more.

Penny: We watch movies with director's commentary.
Amy: Oh, my favorite. George Lucas can talk through the entire movie but I say one word and I'm banished to the kitchen.

Sheldon: You know what you could make us do? Ice skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard's asthma, and it plays into my well known fear of getting flattened by a zamboni.

Leonard: Interesting. We're being accused of making you do things you don't like, and here you are doing the same thing to poor Amy.
Sheldon: You should point out the hypocrisy of that.
Leonard: That's what I was doing.
Sheldon: Oh, that was wasn't clear. Do it again but this time drive it home with, "how do you like them apples, missy?"