Sheldon: And you, give my regards to Barnum and Bailey.

Sheldon: I smell funny. I taste salty.
Leonard: You're just sweaty from exercise.
Sheldon: And kind of delicious. I wonder how many licks it would take to get to the center of me.
Leonard: I know it only takes one doctor's finger.

Raj: Look at us! We're like the Rockettes!

Leonard: Maybe you should consider women who aren't in serious relationships with your closest friends?
Sheldon: There's that prostate doctor, but I'm still mad at her.

Barry Kripke: Let's begin with some fundamentals. This is the en garde position. Feet are in an L. Heels in a straight line. Elbow is about a fist from the rib cage. Notice my dominant leg faces forward.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.
Barry Kripke: What's wrong, Cooper?
Sheldon: Well, I'm not sure I have a dominant leg. They're both pretty submissive.

Amy: Stuart, believe it or not, I understand. You know, before I met Sheldon, I was alone for a really long time. I was so desperate for people to like me, when I met these guys, it took everything in my power to hide my insecurity.
Stuart: Okay, we're all feeling it. Yes, I'll go out with you.

Stuart: All right, I'm not saying it's true, but let's consider for a moment that possibly I'm the problem.
Penny: Yeah.
Bernadette: You are.
Amy: You can say it.

Bernadette: So how can we help?
Stuart: Well, I know more women are buying comics than ever, but for some reason, I can't get 'em in here.
Penny: All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
Stuart: Uh, I've been stocking more female-oriented titles. In the bathroom, I folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting in the official breastfeeding area.

Howard: When you're in a public restroom, which foot do you flush the toilet with?
Sheldon: Right. Always right.
Howard: He's a righty.

Amy: Have you thought about advertising directly to females?
Stuart: Hmm, okay. Well, all right. What if I put up a sign in the window that said, "Women, come in. Don't be afraid."?

Stuart: I mean, what can I do? I get so nervous around women.
Penny: Well, you're talking to us now. I mean, you don't seem nervous.
Stuart: Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick where you imagine the audience is naked. By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
Amy: Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?
Stuart: It was a joke.
Bernadette: Was it?
Stuart: No, I'm still doing it.

Sheldon: Besides, a bar is where I belong. I'm having female problems.
Leonard: If you're cranky and retaining water, I have a theory.

Sheldon: How about you?
Older Woman: I'm married, and I'm her grandmother.
Sheldon: Ah, what might have been.

Amy: I said no.
Sheldon: Interesting. I asked two women out today, and they both said no.
Amy: I didn't know you were interested in dating.
Sheldon: I've been told it's a good way to move on.

Bernadette: Are you attracted to him?
Amy: I don't know.
Penny: All right, well, what happens if you imagine him naked?
Amy: Oh, I don't have to imagine it. (holds up her phone)