Penny: Aren't you worried you're making French toast on oatmeal day?
Leonard: Ah, well, what's this? A pot of oatmeal? Or, thanks to you, what I will now call "gloatmeal".
Penny: Oh, I don't want credit for that.

Sheldon: All I'm looking for is an educated, intelligent woman who shares my interests while retaining her own unique point of view. She should be kind, patient, and most important, unable to imagine life without me by 10:00 tonight.
Howard: Isn't that a little unreasonable?
Sheldon: All right, fine, she doesn't need her own point of view. Now, chop chop.

Amy: Do you have any heels higher than this? He's pretty tall.
Bernadette: Ooh, tall! Finally some details about this mystery man.

Howard: Well, this is actually an interesting social experiment.
Raj: I'm a little jealous of the people who get to do it.
Howard: Me, too. And we've seen the prize.

Penny: Oh, damn it, we should have brought binoculars.
Bernadette: Right here.
Leonard: We just happen to have those in the car?
Bernadette: Kinda. Before I met Howie, I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends.
Leonard: By stalking them?
Bernadette: No. Stalkers are creepy. I'm just a harmless little girl with military-grade spy equipment.

Leonard: Can I see?
Penny: What, now you're interested? You didn't even want to come.
Leonard: I know, but you guys make being a crappy friend look fun.

Leonard: It looks like they're having a nice time. I wish I could hear what they're saying.
Bernadette: Yeah, I should've brought my parabolic microphone.
Penny: Your what?
Bernadette: Nothing. Not important.

Sheldon: Oh, Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter, lovely to see you this fine morning.
Leonard: You're in a good mood.
Sheldon: Yeah, I am indeed. I have decided, instead of wallowing in sadness about Amy, it is time that I find myself a new female companion.

Sheldon: Thank you for coming by, gentlemen.
Howard: No problem.
Raj: So what's up?
Sheldon: Well, it was the two of you who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me.
Now that I'm looking for my next girlfriend, it seemed only logical that I employ your services once again.

Dave: Well, the next time you watch it, I'm the bloke who asked the question that he said was stupid and obvious. It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there.
Amy: That's, um, terrific.

Sheldon: What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
Howard: You thought she was great in X-Men.
Sheldon: Oh, fine. I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.